I’ve seen family members recover swiftly from burying their elderly only to continue fighting and arguing over who gets the family heirlooms. In doesn’t matter what the probate judge says. His verdict—the deceased’s possessions are to be sold through an Estate Sales Service and the proceeds divided evenly among the surviving family members—is just another obstacle. If you could measure each person’s grief in terms of entitlement, it would be fair to say that nasty, mean-spirited people would recover much sooner only, and I do mean ONLY, when they amass all the valuable items listed in the will.
During my lengthy stretch as a professional college student, I worked for Heritage House Estate Sales Services inventorying and pricing the items of dead people. I worked under the steady eye of a middle-aged woman chain smoking unfiltered Pall Malls and barking orders as if I were as dumb as the day is long. I’d follow her from room to room stickering everything in sight, including the deceased person’s underwear. She was a shrewd businesswoman. She knew the intricacies of dealing with family members, real estate agents, and collectors. She had a loyal following of collectors that subscribed to her monthly newsletter, and a showroom where she stored crappy used furniture on consignment.
At first I couldn’t believe the inflated prices on some items. But it wasn’t long and I understood that you needn’t be a funeral director to profit off someone’s death. After prepping a house for a weekend sale, my boss routinely opened a day early for her loyal following of collectors and newsletter subscribers. Family members were invited at this time as well. I had the unfortunate task of working the front door, allowing a handful of people in at a time. First come, first served. One in, one out.
Quite frequently a disgruntled customer would challenge her authority. “Do you know who I am? This was my sister’s lamp, passed on from generation to generation. She wanted me to have it. I’m willing to give you a fair price. Why are you being so unreasonable?”
My boss waved a lit Pall Mall at her. “Put the lamp down. It’s an antique. I have collectors who may be interested in it.”
A few days later, after the preview sale, the house would open to the general public. Family members would come back, still hoping to get that one cherished item. In the case of the lamp, the same person returned and offered even less than before, just to prove a point. But my boss stood her ground, even refusing the initial offer. Sometimes I’d see these sad-looking heirlooms collecting dust in her showroom on top of a piece of crappy furniture.
Short story recommendation: “Heirloom” by Pamela Stewart
17 comments:
My mother got into a horrible fight with her sister over a house and a car after my grandpa's death. My aunt wanted to sell both, my mom wanted to keep both in the family. And, they still haven't resolved some of their issues.
they have a ton of those shops in boca raton florida- so many people go there to die, i mean retire that they almost have taken over the furniture stores. and it is a rip-off!
My wife and I love antiques and our house has them in every room, but there is something sad about estate sales. There's something about seeing all the "things" of a lifetime change from something treasured to something merely valued. My midweek post hints on this.
Jim, Interesting post! I've never had to deal with this situation and hopefully will be a long time before I do. Have you sold anyone's urns? --Bro, Ron
I stopped in at an "estate sale" once and it was awful. It was the lady's daughter, not a professional, and she was so out of sorts and flustered. She would give you a price and then look all perplexed and say, "No, I should keep that." It was so depressing, I never went to another one.
not a bad post, jr. and thx for the comment--and crime stat--on mine. I did reply in my following post. Take care.
Wow! Is there any job you haven't held???
Did you know that Billy Bob Thornton has a phobia about antiques? And I can sort of understand it, when you see some of the really creepy things that come up for sale in estate auctions. We have hundreds of antiques stores in the Lower Mainland, and they all have a really weird atmosphere, as if they're haunted.
Josie
o my word....I always say I don't want anything that a person did not give to me when they where alive.
There is this really cool add here...when you said the person would say: do you know who I am.
Its this guy at the airport he says to the check in lady...do you know who I am....she picks up the intercom and page the entire airport. There is a man at gate 12 if anybody knows who he is please come and tell him, cause he seemed to have forgotten.....I LOVE THAT...hihihih....
Outlying subdivisions and big box stores have all but destroyed our New England-style Main Street here in Ontario.
Stores can turn into anything from a flower shop to a laundromat and hardly anybody blinks.
Now the entire street is going into antique and carriage trade shops, and it's all so depressing because the street is now full of stoners and bums, and who's going to buy.
About the cleverest thing I've heard on the street was a homeless guy asking me, "What do you call a preppie?"
"I don't know."
"Yuppie larva."
One day this homeless guy is going to make it!
This was a cool post. Estate things are eerie but endlessly interesting -- and that sense of entitlement you point out. People are strange, and you present yourself and your boss dead on.
jr,
I have been a bit negligent in making my rounds on the blogs. Please accept my belated congrats for your receiving the BigFoot Award. I really like the tagline for the award. I'm sure it will soon be the most coveted writing award.
About this post, all I can say is that you have had unusual and very interesting jobs. Thabks for sharing.
I'm glad my brother & I had no intentions of fighting over our Mom's estate when she passed. Unfortunately her drunken boyfriend (not a very savory character to begin with,) verbally attacked us both when we ret'd from her funeral (he did not attend.) He wanted HIS HALF & banged his fist on the table to stress it. I understood where he was coming from, but his timing & delivery left MUCH to be desired! Little did he know that I was already working toward his interest at this point.
My brother didn't want to give him a dime, but he had been far removed from the situation for many years. Having been in the thick of it, I was able to convince my brother (without fighting,) that the boyfriend did at least deserve something.
The boyfriend was already deeply grieving his terrible loss. To have kicked him out in the street with nothing on top of that would have been completely inhumane.
Never underestimate human greed.
I agree with CG. Nice post JR.
Enjoyed reading it. MW
My mother loves estate sales, but they really freak me out. It's so eerie, rummaging through the belongings of a deceased stranger.
My mom passed last May and she had everything marked who was to get what, and the stuff that wasn't marked we all just said ok that's reasonable but I would like such and such and got the same reply.
By the time it all got to probate there was just the money issues and the will declared it all a five way split.
Now I am the odd one out when it comes to my siblings, but in this case it was our moms wishes we adhered too and the only thing we argued about was her car. Not that any of us wanted it particularly but the other four wanted to give a perfectly maintained 4 year old car to the youngest nephew, I chose there to make my stand, pissing them all off so any other fighting may be avoided after three or four days of some pretty nasty phone calls from them I relented.
I never really cared about the damn car anyway i just know my siblings and there always has to be a fight over something in situations like this so I figured if it was a manufactured fight there would be no more, for once the stupid one did good because after I gave in to their wishes the stuff was easier to look at and not cry and everyone got a pretty fair share of her memory.
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