I’m not sure why I had the bottom bunk when my brother, prone to tossing and turning and talking in his sleep, occasionally fell to the hardwood floor. I’d hear a loud thud, open my eyes, and see him sound asleep, curled into the fetal position trying to stay warm, his teeth grinding, muttering incomprehensible words that kept me awake for hours on end. Maybe my fear of heights had something to do with my lower level sleeping arrangement, or at least my willingness not to challenge my brother for the top bunk.
Getting my knee wedged in Old Man Barker’s maple tree and my dad suggesting they amputate my leg instead of damaging a perfectly healthy branch amplified my fear. He stood on the ladder’s top rung, placed a saw blade on my exposed thigh, and asked Old Man Barker, “What do you think? How about here?” Poor Mr. Barker, seeing the terror in my eyes as I struggled to free my leg, gave my father permission to cut the tree limb instead. As horrible as this may seem, I never climbed another tree.
I learned a valuable lesson that day, but not as harsh as an inmate receiving a blanket party in the middle of the night. A few years back, some prisoners convinced a corrections office to open their cell doors and let them have access to another prisoner’s room. Wielding bars of soap in socks, they pinned the prisoner under his blanket and went to work. Call it a prison hazing if you will, a reminder to stay clean, to lead a crime-free life, to not come back at all. The next morning the beaten down inmate limped through the front gates, his time served.
Unfortunately, some messages have repercussions. The ex-felon met with his parole officer. “What the hell happened to you?” his P.O. asked, probably thinking his newest client was involved in some type of bar brawl. However, as the story unraveled, and a lawsuit filed, a certain corrections officer took the hardest fall of all.
22 comments:
Love the photo!
Is that you or your brother? I'm glad the ex-felon filed a lawsuit.
Hi! have you been lurking or did you just stumble upon me? ;)
My brother and I used to share a room when I was little, about 4,5 yrs. old. we had bunk beds..me on the bottom , him on top. Well, whenever he would have a bad dream, he would make ME climb up to his bunk...AND I had to sleep on the outside! So I never slept cuz I was afraid I would fall off. Big Brothers can be so nasty sometimes.
Hi JR. There's one thing you left off your list -- it's a good thing your brother didn't wet the bed! I like your photo!!
Wow, people never stop amazing me with the dumb shit they do. I can't believe that stupid officer let them in...he should have know it would end his job.
The further out on the limb you climb, the more apt you are to fall..... hard!
wth was that officer thinking?
What a cute picture!
What in heaven's name was the corrections officer thinking? But I guess prison isn't a tea party at the best of times.
Josie
I love the photo. I can't believe the corrections officer actually did that!!! I'd say he got what was coming to him. Maybe the inmates should have let the officer "have it" to teach him a lesson.
I'm still trying to figure out how you got your knee wedged in a tree and couldn't get it out. I've gotten all sorts of parts stuck in all sorts of places, but after a short time of panic, I would always decide that if it could get in, it could get out. And it did.
Rather funny the things from childhood that we specifically remember and the way they affect us in our adult lives, I have to admit that at the time it must have been horrible, your old man up on a ladder, offering you leg up as a sacrifice to the maple muse, but now it musts seem somewhat amusing as a story to tell. My old man was the same way, kill the kid and save the tree, because the tree doesn't cost him food and sleeping space.
My brothers and I all shared one room and this was the only benefit of being the fat kid, the other two had the bunk bed and I had the single right under the window where I could put my radio under my pillow and listen to classical music as I slept, good thing batteries were cheap way back then because I used a lot of them.
Blanket party...so much for the part of the guards job of keeping other inmates safe from each other. Any specific reason this guard didn't like the about to be released convict or did the others pony up enough payment to make it worth losing his job over?
Blanket Parties have been a long standing tradition among prisoners, and they are usually acquaintances of the victim. Ironically, it is more prevalent in the county jails where the prisoners do not know one another, and I suspect for entirely different reasons.
What an idiot. That officer was very obviously not thinking.
This is one time I am glad I was an only child - no bunk bed!
Jim, Nice photo of "you". I remember the falls from the bunk bed and splitting open my chin. See, I was on the top bunk bed looking over my little brother. :) Hey, that Parole Officer was pretty stupid. Maybe he should had a few socks with bars of soap touch his body with a few smacks to see how he liked it. I wonder if the inmate ever came back to prison or DID he learn his lesson? --Bro, Ron
Jim, I just noticed that the photo was from Feb., 1969. Wow, you were just a little tike. --Bro, Ron
What the hell was he thinking? Cute photo by the way!
That piece about "sawing off your leg" made me wince. Sometimes I don't think adults realize that children may not clearly recognize joking.
Love the picture and story, Jim!
I think this is the first photo I've seen of you smiling. It's a nice change. :)
It always amazes me what adults seem to think is funny with children.
My Da was wonderful man and a good father. But, I remember once when I was about four and whining about something, he simply picked me up, put me on top of the fridge and walked out of the room.
I was petrified and I STILL have absolute recall of that memory.
And now that I am an adult and a parent, I can't even imagine doing something like that to my kid.
Does this mean I should stop threatening my nephews with the act of being duct taped to the wall for misbehaving? Now that it comes in different colors, I've even threatened to get "hot pink" just for the occasion. :)
"Blanket parties" - I'm sure you might remember the movie "Full Metal Jacket", these things have been a problem in the military for a long time as well. Even when I was in during the early 1990's.
I had the same bunk "Private Joker" used in the movie during the boot camp scenes. Think it was still the same thin mattress too.
I'm just glad to see that you did not lose your leg. After watching The Lord of the Rings I have learned that the Ent's (trees)could have swallowed you whole little hobbit. Nice post. MW:)
gosh, you were a cute kid..
Post a Comment