CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG

Correct me if I’m wrong, but the last time I checked—I’m just a convict teacher with a bachelor’s degree, working for the Michigan Department of Corrections. Nothing spectacular, just someone who helps the dregs of society improve their academic skills. But there’s another, more academically demanding side of me; I volunteer countless hours preparing for and running an insect competition called “Don’t Bug Me,” for the largest county in the United States participating in the Elementary Schools Science Olympiad Program (80 schools and climbing). So when a United States Presidential Award Winning Elementary School Teacher of Science (it’s on her business card) with a master’s degree emails me, asking if I would be so kind as to provide her school district with the practical (including insect displays) for their district competition, I politely decline.

First of all, her district’s competition is scheduled on the same day that I volunteer at another school district. She knew this in advance. She even mentioned it in her email, which in turn means that I would have to come up with duplicate insect displays. Secondly, I let her borrow all of this material for their district event last year, and in return, I got a half-dozen chocolate-covered pretzel sticks for my efforts. Correct me if I’m wrong, but don’t you think someone who has won the United States Presidential Teaching Award for Science (again, it’s on her business card) would demonstrate a tad bit more appreciation—perhaps a gift-card or certificate for a nice dinner out. The chocolate covered pretzel sticks were probably given to her from a parent anyway.

Correct me if I’m wrong—remember, I’m just your average Joe and probably not the brightest, but don’t you think that if she really wanted my insect displays and test material, she’d change the date of their district competition? Last but not least, her school district (they have a higher socio-economic status than where I live) kicked my school districts proverbial ass at the county competition. Besides, she has her summers off. She should spend her time and effort collecting and researching her own damn insects.

Desirea Madison of "Ambition" tagged me with the following: “Five Things You Probably Don’t Know About Me.” Here it goes:

1. My high school graduating class voted me “The Biggest Grouch,” in their mock elections.
2. I used to be a foot soldier for General Biscuit. My enemy: National Biscuit (Nabisco).
3. As a limousine chauffeur, I once left six middle-aged women stranded at a gas station when their divorce party turned into a “we hate all males” night.
4. As the new kid in a new junior high trying to gain a reputation as a “bad ass,” I deliberately stepped on another kid’s hand, breaking his thumb.
5. At my old junior high, I deliberately hit the classroom bully over the back of his head with a drafting stool because he poked me with his compass on a daily basis. I served a three-day suspension for my deed.