So I’m sitting home, alone, watching reruns of F-Troop, when a voice comes out of my television and asks if I am desperate for a change. Of course I am desperate for a change. Who watching reruns of F-Troop isn’t desperate for a change? The answer, says the voice, is career training, and right there it offers certifications in Legal Assistant, Medical Assistant, Taxidermy, Creative Writing, Prison Execution, Driver Education Film Narration. The Taxidermy class was filled, so I opted for creative writing, which is how I ended up in Iowa, going for my MFA.
—William Lashner
Although I wasn’t originally given the task of organizing a GED graduation ceremony at our correctional facility, I knew that the whole event would never get off the ground without my input. It’s not that I’m any more valuable then the next person; in fact, I’ll be first to say, “Anyone can be replaced,” it’s just that I’ve kept a spreadsheet of all the inmate’s GED scores and dates of completion, and no one thought to ask for it. Thus, I took the initiative to get the ball rolling.
Our last graduation ceremony must’ve been in 2001, prior to the GED Exam’s new format. I sorted my spreadsheet by date, with a descending order of current to past. After five pages of passing scores going back to 2002, I had to compare my list with our facility’s pop-sheet. In case you’re wondering, the pop-sheet is a master list of all the prisoners housed at our facility along with their out dates. I managed to whittle the list down to 55 graduates—two of which passed the test in 2002. Now comes the real dilemma: Our facility only has 28 cap and gowns. Thus, another sort, this time from the highest score to the lowest score. The top 27 scorers will have the first opportunity to wear a cap and gown. Also, we’ll hold one cap and gown back for picture taking purposes.
On Monday, we’ll be meeting with our new school principal to iron out the details and assign job tasks. There’s a lot of planning involved to ensure that the ceremony goes according to plan. As long as I’m not the orator, I don’t mind putting forth the time and energy; afterall, this may be the biggest achievement some of our graduates will ever experience. I’m sure their families will be proud of their accomplishments, even though it took being locked up and forced to go to school for them to succeed.
9 comments:
Elgar. Always play Elgar at graduations.
Good luck with the graduation ceremony.
Maybe you could sort out the cap & gown dilemma by giving half of them a gown and the other half a cap. That might balance everything out. Or just look really weird.
Jim, The Thinker has a really great idea. That way, no one will feel left out. They may look weird but that shouldn't matter to them. Hey, nice graduation pic of yourself. Maybe you could loan your old graduation gown to a passing inmate. I might have my old high school and college gowns you could also borrow. :) --Bro ,Ron
Wow. I had no idea inmates could actually graduate while serving their term. That should be a good thing, right?
Hope everything goes well. Kudos to you for getting the ball rolling. You're such a marvel at your job. ;p
You are a wonder sometimes JR I just don't know where you get all that motivation from? MW :)
Very cool, even if everyone is replaceable! F Troop -- good God ;-> Too damned funny.
That quote is brilliant -- I laughed out loud about the reruns of F-Troop. Good luck with the ceremony!
"Who watching reruns of F-Troop isn’t desperate for a change? "
LOL!!!!
ps I respect your commitment to these fellow who have been locked up. I hope that your attention to their educational needs inspires a few of them to grow and improve in other ways.
Nice school robe! Did you graduate??
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