You be me for awhile, and I’ll be you.—The Replacements
I’ve been known to high-hurdle the Caution: Wet Floor signs in slow motion while an inmate porter drags a sour mophead across the tiled hallway floor. “Guess who I am?” I’ll ask the passerby’s, all wearing six-digit numbers stenciled on the backs of their shirts. For the most part, they give me that who gives a shit who you’re trying to be look. This doesn’t deter me. I toss them a hint. “Remember those Hertz rent a car commercials?” Still nothing. Perhaps they’re too young or I’m too old. I hammer them with my answer, “O.J. Simpson, man.”
Mocking the Juice doesn’t necessarily induced shits and giggles but you can tell he’s envied by a majority of the inmates. And why not? He beat his case, got a way with murder. “He was proven innocent in a court of law,” a jailhouse lawyer will argue. “How can you say he got away with murder when he was found not guilty of the crime?” Yeah, okay, Johnny Cochrane. If it doesn’t fit, you must acquit.
I’ve been known to poke fun of those inmates with “Temp” stenciled on their shirts, too. “So,” I’ll ask, “who’re you temping for?” As if they’re voluntarily filling in for someone and will soon be going home. Speaking of temporary: Perhaps someone could fill-in for me today. With eyes wide shut, my stent will be yanked out. The doctor’s temporary fix is no longer needed. I’ll be back to high-hurdling in no time.
11 comments:
I have to say, I love the faces you pull in your photos, they are almost better the the postes themselves...
Good luck big guy. I understand the "replacement" thought but it can't be me. You will be jumping hurdles in no time. :-) MW
I don't remember those commercials but it was funny to read your post! I'm sure you will be hurdle jumping in no time. Just be careful though!
I hate to say it but I don't know the commercials either...It's alright, your post (and the picture) is pretty funny. Good luck, by the way.
Good for you, Jim! Glad to hear you're on the mend! I used to work as a temp...not at a prison, though.
I'm glad things are looking up with the whole stent/stones thing.
I am old enough to remember the OJ commercials, though it was obviously a long time ago since many of your readers haven't seen them.
Why do I keep picturing Tom Hanks in The Green Mile, trying to wiz?
Congrats on the finish of the horrible stone saga! I remember the OJ of old all too well. My dad used to mimic that old commercial whenever we were running through an airport.
Right on Dude!, regarding O.J.... The hurdles... and the jokes.
It's nice to know that one can maintain their sense of humor around what might be considered a difficult audience.
I don't think I would want to be you today. Good luck with the stent thing.
Jim, Good luck today with the hanking out the stent. Hopefully everything will be fine. What a O. Juicy story!!! --Bro, Ron
I'm guilty of not knowing those commercials either. I can't say that I'd want to fill in with you today, but good luck.
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