My desire to title this post “He Stoops To Conquer” and play the part of a modest man chuckling over a four millimeter kidney stone vanished once I realized the task at hand. The stone is now somewhere in the bladder preparing to lodge its jagged little edges into my urethra. The urologist gave me a prescription for Darvocet which seems to have mellowed my anxieties and prepared me for the worse. Hey, at least I don’t have an upset stomach any more (I’ve learned that Vicodin isn’t the drug of choice for me).I continue to have trouble sleeping, but the lower back pain has subsided—no more tossing and turning. Still, I have chosen to stay at home rather than tough it out at work. Last time I passed a kidney stone, I simply walked out of a room full of convicts, did my business, and scooped up a mid-sized rock from the toilet. I showed my class the calcified rock afterward (teachable moments never die), which scored me some points for toughness and/or craziness. In hindsight, what would’ve happened if the stone got stuck? Who would’ve made sure that I got out of the prison in a timely manner? My worst fear isn’t crying in front of a bunch of prisoners—are you kidding, they’re the biggest babies ever—no, my worst fear is passing out and having some convict prying the gold out of my mouth or doing the unimaginable: pleasuring himself at my expense. God, how awful is that?
Since I took “the funny” out of my words, I leave you with the following picture my brother emailed me (compliments of http://go.funpic.hu ). I wish I could be that relaxed. I wish it were that easy. I wish my stream of humor would begin to flow.
14 comments:
Jim, I love that 2nd picture! I thought that might be you real soon or some day! Keep up the hope and we will see Niagra Falls real soon! :) --Bro, Ron
Woa!! Buddy here's wishing your stone a fast exit. Take them darvacet. Think on only the good things like your sence of humor
which seems to be nonstop regardless of what's happening and your posts; your well over 2000. Hang in there!!!!MW
There's a statue just like that guy in Brussels, Belgium. Only the guy is standing up. It's famous.
Nice photo, Jim. I've heard that it's a very painful process. Hope things pass quickly!
I'm sorry you are not feeling well.
Vicodin doesn't do well with me either.
Hi JR...thanks for stopping by my blog...I came over here and saw that pic your have of Buddy Lee on the other post...omg...that's hilarious.......anyway sorry you have a kidney stone..ouch!!! hope it passes quickly....
Peace
Oh dear god...
You have my sympathies my good man.
I shall hold a candlelight vigil in your honor this afternoon. ;)
Steve~
Jim, I'll have a few beers and salute to your well being. --Bro, Ron
JR, Hang in there buddy! You can pull through this.
I'm still musing on your scooping the kidney stone out of the toilet and show-and-telling it for your charges. I think that perhaps you are a most unusual gentleman.
I've heard that the pain corresponds (as much as anyone can determine) with childbirth. And that is not pretty. But at least we get a cute little baby out of it, while all you get is a crummy rock with jagged edges.
I Hope you feel better soon.
Oh man, I feel for you, Jim. The only horrible pain I've had so far (knock on wood) is dental-related. Liquid clove and ice helped for a little while, anyway. And stabbing thr palm of my hand. Good luck, speedy passage and pain killers.
Wishing you well sooner than soon!
Thanks for the comment I added a not there especially for you! Plus I added you as a link to my blog!
Thanks again feel better soon! Hang in there and it will be over before you know it! ~M
Man, this guy really built up an explosion!
Hey, looks like this guy is still pissing away his life.
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