This is serious. Something needs to be done about all the tomato pushers out there, aggressively forcing large quantities of their mutated fruit onto unsuspecting citizens such as myself. No one should be pressured into doing something they absolutely do not want to do. Why do I always have to revisit this issue every summer? Why do I have to cart them away?Two weeks ago, when I punched out at work, a sign greeted me, "Free Tomatoes." Sure enough, under the time clock was a large office supply box crammed full of muddy tomatoes. Then, earlier this week, on my peaceful drive home, I kid you not, there was a road side stand with you got it: FREE TOMATOES. Where were the people who grew them? Did they run in the opposite direction at the mention of the word—at least that’s how it happens in the movie, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
I understand that uneaten tomatoes will eventually rot, but if the gardeners take the time to grow them, then why don’t they take the time to make salsa? Someone please enlighten me. What’s the big fascination with tomatoes? Is it because they’re easy to grow?
"Here, have some tomatoes."
"I don’t want any."
"Take them anyway. Give them to someone you know."
I did just that. Became a Stepford Husband in the spread of unwanted tomatoes. My wife had me deliver a CVS bag full of them to the fitness center we work out at. I wonder how many exhausted sweaty people grabbed a tomato or two as they left? When I came back home, our neighbor approached us near the fence line (not the boat-owner guy) and told us to help ourselves to his garden, especially the tomatoes.
Enough with the tomatoes already! Put them in your compost pile and chalk it up as a loss.
12 comments:
I like tomatos.
How come they don't give them away here? Tell your local tomato-pushers to mail them down Australia-way - we'll send back some of the mangoes that are left rotting by the roadside.
Deal?
Anomaly
Juice em. Have a healthy drink or a bloody mary. Is that a shrub?
Looks to good to be a "bush." MW
Sounds like a good deal to me, Anomaly. However, I don't think tomatoes can travel that far. I will say this, after going down in defeat in the "So You Think You Can Blog" contest, I've been strengthening my throwing arm. My conditioning should be done at about the same time that The Thinker finishes her studies.
Anomaly=Beautiful Tomato
Isn't there a country in Europe where they have a massive tomato fight every year? Or is that oranges?
Hey Jim,
Love this post...and tomatoes! Like your take on the big giveaway, though!
As for my story, I had to save it as a draft at the moment--too many typos and I didn't like the look of it. Of course, I thank you for reading what I had posted, and your comments. I will post the full story soon, but with only a link to it in a post at the current date; that way those who don't want to read it, don't have to scroll through it to find something else. Thanks again! --R
Hey Jim and all,
When I was married, we had a massive garden with not only vast quantities of tomatoes, but also zucchini. We froze or canned away the nights, made salsa, the whole bit. Fun times! Zucchini bread is pretty good. More recently, a friend of a friend was interviewed for a documentary about the canned food industry. She had much to say about the Chicken of the Sea Mermaid and the Jolly Green Giant. HO ho ho! Anything's better than having to hear the tortured overload on 9/11 for the next week.
Cheers, 'E
Saw your comment at Feelings Aloud.
Haha. You could always can them. or jar them. like pickling. Or carve them like pumpkins. It could turn into a festival.
I HATE tomatoes. They are evil vile little fruits and the only time they are any good is massed together with other ingredients for ketchup.
A friend gave me a garbage bag half-full of tomatoes; I'm not big on tomatoes. "Make sauce and freeze it." OK. I put the bag next to the refrigerator. I don't know how long it took for me to realize that the bag was swollen and slightly smelled. I waited until the weekend, propped open the door to the fire escape, walked about five steps when the bag broke. I was throwing up, slipped and crashed into the wall. I had to get a bandanna soaked with cologne to tie over my face in order to clean up. I never told my friend.
Hey FooFoo5,
I was tested for allergies. I'm allergic to two things: tomatoes & mold. I still have beer and pizza once in awhile--messes me up for a couple of days. Thanks for letting me know that there are tomato pushers everywhere, and sorry to hear about your bad experience.
Jim, In a small town in the South of Spain, they throw tomatoes in the streets. I haven't been there yet after all my travels to Spain. It's funny that my next door neighbor asked if I wanted tomatoes. I said no way! Have too many. I also got out my pitching arm and whaled a few old ones in the woods behind our house. --Bro, Ron
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