Contrary to popular belief, working in a prison is actually quite dull. No "Prison Break" storyline here. Sorry Dawn. Sometimes correctional employees have to create their own bit of excitement by seizing whatever opportunity comes their way. For instance, yesterday, during my morning break between classes, I discovered a coworker’s Tommy Hilfiger designer jacket hanging in the staff bathroom. I’ll call him Dagwood, after his latest hairstyle set back, his final acceptance that a comb-over doesn’t work. Anyway, I did my usual business, a number one followed by a thorough hand washing, then, out of curiosity, I did a quick check on the pockets of his stylish jacket.
Hmmm … a pack of Trident gum and oh … what do we have here?—car keys.
Since Dagwood and I don’t get along (three years ago he called me "a punk" and dared me to take a swing at him), I decided to inform custody staff of my find. Hey, security issues shouldn’t be taken lightly. An inmate could’ve posed as Dagwood and made a courageous escape right from under our noses. Once in the employee parking lot, our Dagwood imposter could’ve pressed the key fob to identify his getaway vehicle. Next thing you know, we’d be playing "find the inmate" to the constant whirring sound of an immobilization siren, while Dagwood’s ride rolled down Interstate 94.
During my lunch break, I noticed a correction officer walking with the real Dagwood. I observed him wandering the halls moments earlier, afraid to approach anyone in regards to his keys. I had tried to convince the c.o. to at least keep Dagwood’s belongings until after lunch. I figured, what better way for him to get less caloric intake for the day. Unfortunately, Dagwood was wearing his Tommy Hilfiger threads, unzipped, so as not to stretch the fabric, and his reddened face had regained its natural pinkness, further proof that my boredom had taken hold and wouldn’t let go.
12 comments:
Great post. Another fun day at the plant with Mr. I don't have a rudder or a sail, or a clue, but I'm still better than you. Now, where is Jug Head? MW
Great photo, Jim! Those security issues must make you feel like you're imprisoned, too, at times. --Robin
Hey all,
Is it the weekend yet? Even "normal"school below the college level is a little like prison, albeit if the light security kind. Nice photo,
indeed :->
It seems like it would be boring to work in a prison (no offense) There is only a limited number of things you can do. All these confinements and restrictions... I guess that makes you kinda like a prisoner too... except that you never committed a crime... to my knowledge. ;o)
Hey Jim,
The picture cracked me up! Nothing like fighting the good fight and giving some energy back to those who get offended. Keep up the good work.
Love the photo.
I feel like a prisoner set free now that my son and his tiny little possee have returned to school.
I would have held on to the keys a little longer just to drag out the red facedness (is that a word) of your not so nice co-worker.
Ha - I've got you all beat...I'm a cubicle prisoner. Did you see the e-mail that went around a few years ago comparing work and prison?
http://www.thatwasfunny.com/prison-vs-work/193
Jim,
You're something really special. Don't you forget it!
Best photo yet! (Just don't tell anyone I was here reading your blog. I'm supposed to be be doing homework.)
Hey Thinker,
I'd report you to the proper authorities, but then I'd probably be banned from all future blogging contests. So I'll just say, "Get back to your studies!"
I would have put something strange in the jacket pocket. A simple prank - like a film canister with a piece of paper taped to it that said Viagra. I applauded your professionalism.
Cheers you punk!!!
Jim, We call those people D.A.'s where I come from. --Bro, Ron
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