Monday, September 18, 2006

A MATTER OF PERCEPTION

As I entered my personal code into the key box, the hearings officer (she’s the Department of Correction’s lawyer who determines whether an inmate is guilty or innocent of any major misconduct tickets written against him) said to me, “Can you believe it? I’ve been lied to.”

I secured my keys, turned to her, and said, “Tell me something new.”

The inmate in question had claimed that he was more than 10 minutes late for his call-out (Ticket Code: “036 Out of Place or Bounds/AWOL”) because it had been his first time attending Law Library. The hearings officer showed me a seven-page document indicating that he frequented the Law Library well over one-hundred times.

I said to her, “Maybe it’s a mistake. Maybe he went to the general library.” She rolled her eyes at me. A library call-out is a library call-out. If it has “Law Library” printed on the inmate’s itinerary, then he gets access to the most current set of law books; if not, then he can check out all those saucy Harlequin romance novels.

I remember another time when this hearings officer asked an inmate how he would like to plead in regards to a sexual misconduct ticket he acquired in the visiting room. “Ma’am, I’m innocent. Nothing happened,” he retorted.

Then the hearings officer retrieved a videotape from her desk drawer and played it for him. I happened to be walking by when it got to the raunchy part. The inmate’s female visitor clearly had her face in his lap. The hearings officer asked, “Now how do you plead?”

“Well,” the inmate responded kindly, “what did you see?”

9 comments:

thethinker said...

Haha, another funny story.

It reminds me of how the students at my school treat the teachers. (Good thing our security cameras don't work very well!)

Cindy-Lou said...

Oh, what's a little head between friends?

Erik Donald France said...

None of this surprises me, but:
how does society hold together at all, really?

Bobby said...

I wonder the same thing along with Erik. It seems like the truths we do tell - that small percentage of statements out of our mouths that are true - are only spoken to set the stage for more lies.

Anonymous said...

Go get em Tiger!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Jim, Hey look at it this way, everyone's guilty until proven innocent these days! In this situation, what does guilty mean? Just having a little fun here. --Bro, Ron

Jo said...

Well, I suppose that's why those fellows are there. They just haven't learned to lie convincingly like like the rest of us.

You have an interesting job.

the not so "new" mom on the blog said...

Ha Ha, just read a couple of your posts - very interesting, glad to hear you got your watch eventually! I can believe she is shocked to have been lied to, helloooooo, thats why they are there! Anyways I enjoyed it!

jeannie said...

It all goes back to your mother yelling "Did you do this?!?!?!". What's your answer supposed to be??? "Yes, I did it because I'm inconsiderate and don't have any respect for others" never came out of my mouth.....