I have a modest proposal for Michigan Goobernotorious (Wrong Word?)Candidate Dick DeVos. This proposal will help boost Michigan’s economy, make our state the leading manufacturer of soap, and put me on the road to wealth. First, Detroit parents and/or legal guardians should not send their children to school on Wednesday—I repeat, should not send their children to school on Wednesday—thus saving the State of Michigan from paying $7,500 per kid. Since Detroit Public Schools estimate 25,000 fewer students, this is a savings of $187,500,00. Instead, the money should go into an escrow account earmarked for the creation of jobs. DeVos should secretly hire Truant Officers to campaign for him, having them promise families potential profits in Amway—that is, if they’re registered voters. If DeVos is elected, each participating family will then receive an Amway start up kit. Mom, dad, or whoever the hell is in charge, will faithfully watch training tape after training tape, while their children manufacture soap and other products, thus competing with China’s cheap labor market. Furthermore, once in office, DeVos could abolish the single business tax so these families can afford to attend several of Alticor’s training seminars on how to sell soap.
I believe this modest proposal to be very sound in creating jobs and building self-esteem. I believe we can compete in a global market. I believe this proposal is a recipe for success (unlike other recipes for children). As a reward for my well thought out proposal, I should be made the sole distributor of soap for the Michigan Department of Corrections. Now, if I could stick a bar in DeVos's mouth every time he mentions “Intelligent Design,” then he might just win and I just might be able to line my pockets with a wad of cash.
13 comments:
Hey, Hey, now hear thee. My friend and beloved leader of the City of Detroit, Kwame, says to go back to school and be in school on this Wednesday. It doesn't matter that you miss all the other days, just make sure your kids are in school this Wed! I believe the State could save a lot of money and then pass it on to the Automotive companies with tax credits to keep jobs here in the State of Michigan.... Get my drift??
Why do you hate freedom? Are yo a freedom hater?
LOL
Great plan.
I also read the article about Dick in the Sunday Free Press yesterday. I thought John Gallagher did a nice job on reporting... (even though Dick would not grant him an interview)
Imagine that. You are running for Governor but you don't want to be interviewd. He's a one trick pony.
I think you could swing the Amway
deal but remember you will have to lose money to make money, and according to the article some just keep on losing. But that's when you can break out your motivational song. (and tapes) Sing out loud!!!! I am Amway, He is Amway, wouldn't you want to be
in Amway too? Lookin for soap. MW
Yeah, lets get out the soap bars and maybe we could sing in the shower together?
Well my kids save the state thousands in educational dollars since they are homeschooled. We could, however, start making soap...hmmm..or not.
I believe the pain medication is making you silly! ~M
How about soap on a stick?
We could all stick the soap where the sun don't shine?? No, lets get real. The schools are hurting, the automotive companies/suppliers are hurting, other businesses are hurting etc... We need to invent a new system don't you think???? Lets band together and get our minds "thinking"!!!......
Great idea. Leave no child behind in the manufacturing of those bars of soap!
Yes, "The Thinker" is now thinking properly. We shall all profit on this great idea. Now how did we all get to this point???
Yeah, let's get real. Baby fat is the main ingredient for soap. Less people, less worry about job creation. Two thumbs up on this idea!
Cheers! Here's to the "Thinker" & "Thumbprints" pulling all this together. Now less charge, and go out there and sell!
Jim, Sounds like we need to go into the soap making business. :) --Bro, Ron
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