Friday, August 18, 2006

WE HOPE YOU DON'T MIND















When my neighbor approached me last fall he said, “I’m thinking of buying a boat.”

I told him, “Great! What type of boat do you want?”

Instead of answering my question, he caught me off-guard by saying, “But I need a place to park it, so I thought I’d put it here,” indicating my property.

I couldn’t believe his statement and quickly replied, “No you’re not.” He understood. Here’s why: He purchased a nice size fishing boat and parked it in his driveway all winter and spring long. Then came summer, he continued to do the neighborly thing—HIS DRIVEWAY. I haven’t a clue as to why, all of a sudden, he thinks his boat-trailer is fine on my property. Why can’t he leave it at the same place where his boat is?

My wife and I have yet to come to an agreement on strategy. It better happen quick because when it’s time for me to cut my 10-blades of grass, I’m going to flip his #%$!!%**! boat-trailer up against the side of his house (see picture diagram above). My wife’s concerned that I’ll damage his property. She’d rather plant a tree on our side instead.

Right now we’re in the process of calling various storage facilities for price quotes. Of course, we’re using his name and address for the free brochures. Also, my wife use to do lease agreements where she worked, so we’re thinking of that too. Any suggestions are welcome. I understand that some of you disagree with my land ownership rights, or, you really don’t—it’s just that I tricked you into believing I was the boat owner. I’m just trying to get a handle on the situation. Comment more than once if you come up with ideas.

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your tire-hinge seems to be the correct swivel point in rectifying this situation. Go for it!

Nicole said...

Have wild all night drunken, parties with chaos,and much mayhem...worked for us LOL

Nicole said...

Hey...regrets turn into GREAT STORIES down the road!!!
Years later you can think back and impress your friends....remember that one time...we drove those ...bastards out LOL

m said...

put it in his front yard in the middle of the night...he will think kids did it and perhaps just leave it there because it sounds like hes a lazy ass.

Mindless Dribbler said...

Buy one of them cheap pet headstones, place it in the center of where he's parking his trailer ( still on your property though) and tell him he needs to respect your long time friend "Tweety"'s resting place.

R's Musings said...

Jim,
First off, I'd say know your enemy--consider how willing you are to piss him off; it could lead to retaliation. We lived next door to an unemployed 40 yr. old freak, mooching off his mom when I first stayed home full-time w/my two yr. old & infant. He started some crazy shit after my husband got in his face, drew lines in the sand from his nutty behavior. The guy threw rocks through our garage window late at night and started saying things to me when I was outside, in my backyard with the kids, like he had a red-headed girlfriend that looked just like me, etc., etc. My husband wanted to confront him, but I begged him to leave it be. We moved instead. In your situation, I'd tell him that when I said no to the boat, I also meant no to the boat trailer. But in the interests of being neighborly, I'd let it sit there the rest of this season, but make sure he knew that next year he'd need to find another place to store it. Then this Fall, I'd plant some of those slow-growing trees or shrubs at your property line; that way he totally gets the message. Good luck! --Robin

R's Musings said...

P.S. You could always stipulate that he could keep it there the rest of this season, but he'd have to move to his driveway every week so you could mow the lawn. He might just get tired of moving it...

Wichita-Lineman said...

Jim

Well if he thinks he can put his stuff on your property, then I'd say vise versa. If it's okay to leave his trailer on your lawn, then it should be okay to leave your garbage on his lawn until garbage day. Although the vindictive person in me could be much more wicked. Rub poison Ivy on all his door knobs, flaming bag of dog shit, ext.

the Laughorist said...

Hmmm. I started relishing the revenge options but Robin has a great point. I've lived in apartments most of my life and right now our neighboring house is literally about two yards away. I guess I'd try the obvious first, in all serious. It's nearly impossible for someone like to go about this w/o rancor, sarcasm, venom, and eventually rage. Then where are we (and my family)? I s'pose the hardest thing is to confront him casual-like and simply tell him you don't appreciate and was wondering when he'd move it. Tough one. I am useless. Dr. Andrew, can you chime in?

Nicole said...

I still say have a wild party, if anyone is willing to do any nudity...all the better, ahead of time, maybe drop off an "orgy" invite in the mailbox LOL

Can backfire though...imagine him showing up with a box of condoms
hahahah....yes, I am ROTTEN!!!

JR's Thumbprints said...

The hinge factor may not be such a good idea afterall. Nor is Wichita-Lineman's idea. Temporary relief could turn into long term problems down the road like Robin pointed out.

So far Notorious Monster, the Mindless Dribbler, and Robin have offered some practical advice. Keep it coming.

Anonymous said...

Make a verbal agreement. You get so many boatrides and/or fishing expeditions in exchange for letting him trailer on your place.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Most current anonymous:
Sounds like a great deal; however, I can't stand his company. I should be able to take his boat out myself--and I already know he wouldn't go for that because he's so protective of his prized possession (boat).

Bobby said...

It's all in the negotiation. A little of this, for a little of that. You mow my lawn for the use of part of my lawn. You take me fishin every time you go out . . . these things can actually work out quite well.

Anonymous said...

Negtiations is the way to go. If that fails buid a rain garden using native plants that can be pretty much maintenance free.
It will attract butterflies, and all sorts of song birds and finches. MW

JR's Thumbprints said...

Your idea sounds good Bobby; however, this neighbor already knew I did not want his boat/boat trailer on my property. What's next? You give an inch, they take a mile.

They went boating yesterday, so this morning I picked up beer bottles on my property and put them in his driveway. They were lighting fire-crackers last night too. (I thought the 4th of July was over?) Someone needs to teach him how to be a good neighbor.

My wife and I are going to look at trees today. I think it's time to do some planting.

Jo said...

Why don't you just go over, knock on his door, ask him to move his trailer because you are planning to landscape that corner of your lawn and his trailer is in the way, and oh, by the way, it's on your property, not his.

Or you could just pick it up and put it on his lawn.

I can't see how either of those things could escalate anything.

He's got a lot of nerve.

the Laughorist said...

JR,
Hope you don't mind; I just blog-rolled you, if I am using that term correctly (for all I know I just propositioned you to spend a weekend with me in the woods along with alien lumberjacks, for feck's sake!).
Laugh. Or....
Else.

Michelle's Spell said...

Jim,

I'm with Lee on this one -- if he moves his shitty boat onto your property, start moving stuff onto his, little by little -- garden statues, ugly geese, trash, and say that you thought it was okay given his use of your yard. I love neighbors that don't ever speak and smile and that's it. And don't leave crap on the yard!

Anonymous said...

Call the police on him. They'll know what to do. Happens all the time.

On the Same Page said...

Whatever you do, don't end up in the the custody of MI Dept. of Corrections.