THESE ARE YOUR ELECTED OFFICIALS

The feeling that the work is magnificent, and the feeling that it is abominable, are both mosquitoes to be repelled, ignored, or killed, but not indulged.
—Annie Dillard

The first warden I ever worked under held monthly Warden’s Forum Meetings in the Food Tech dining area across the hall from my classroom. The Food Tech instructor and his inmate staff fixed the warden's administration and the elected prisoner representatives a nice breakfast of farmer’s omelets, hashbrowns, toast, orange juice, and coffee. After they’d had their fill the warden got down to business. "Okay men, what issues or concerns need to be addressed?"

I’ll admit, the warden certainly knew how to work a room full of convicts. She knew how to minimize their complaints. First, feed the reps, get them comfortable, and make them feel special as if they didn’t have six-digit numbers like their constituents. From my observations, they looked forward to their monthly meetings; it sure beat the hell out of the chow hall.

I informed Prisoner Miller, who also happened to be an academic tutor of mine, that there were lots of complaints from the general population. "I hope you were able to come to some type of an agreement with the administration. It certainly looked like you guys were on good terms with the warden and her staff."

Detecting my sarcasm, Miller responded, "As long as the Warden feeds me, I ain’t got shit to say."

I knew most of the men attending the Warden’s Forum, so when my boss asked if I would supervise the packaging of Christmas goodies being delivered to all the inmates, I said, "Sure, why not." The following items were purchased with IBF money (Inmate Benefit Funds): small pecan pies, chocolates, hard candy, candy canes, and various other treats. Stations were set-up in the gymnasium and the reps shoved items into each bag before moving it further down the line, all the way to the last station where the bags were stapled and loaded into boxes for delivery to each unit.

Since they were elected officials, I didn’t scrutinize their work—afterall, it was the week of Christmas. I remember inmates from the general population complaining to me about the chintzy packages they received. When I showed them the list of items stuffed into each bag, I got the typical response, "Well then, I got shorted. Did you actually see these items go into each bag?"

"Hey," I said, "these are your elected officials. You guys voted them in. If you don’t like what happened, vote’em out. Oh, and Merry Christmas."