Tuesday, December 26, 2006

BUILDING A BETTER WACKENHUT















Now that Christmas has come and went, I guess I’ll go ahead and mention the most interesting gift I received. We all get them, that one thing that we really don’t need but for some reason get because it defines who we are. This year’s most interesting gift came from my wife: Prison Tycoon.

According to the back cover, private prisons have become the new growth industry. Although I haven’t played it yet, the object to this computer game is to turn a profit while dealing in human misery. I have to build a small dormitory, mess hall, school, and factory. Also, I must hire and control prison staff, set up and run my prison industries, influence prisoner morale through various activities, establish a sound reputation, and manage prisoner sentences from time off for good behavior to rehabilitation (yeah, sure).

As I become successful in running my low security prison, the level of difficulty will increase. More gang related incidents will occur. More violence. Even murder. The inside cover, under “Getting Started,” warns the potential gamer that they will not be able to build a death row right away. Imagine that. Should I be disappointed in not having the ability to pull the switch on an inmate? Here’s to hoping my newest gift will help reduce work related stress. If not, there’s always that one liter bottle of Seagram’s VO my mother-in-law bought me for Christmas.

What unusual gift did you get this year?

11 comments:

Jo said...

JR, I didn't even know a game like that existed. It sounds like a hoot...! What fun.

Glad you had a great Christmas.

Cheers,
Josie

Anonymous said...

Your wife has a wicked sense of humour!

Oh - I got lots of bars of allergy free chocolate. Not easy to get here - almost all have already been eaten....

Anonymous said...

Wicked, indeed! Good luck taming the beasts ;) So far, I've been gifted with such items as She Shoulda Said No!, a wacky US govt. propaganda film shot in film noir style about "Psychotic Dope Fiends" and "Hopped-Up Harlots," plus some other goodies that will surface in the blogosphere in '07, I suspect ;)

Cheers' 'E

Anonymous said...

Hmm... I didn't receive very many gifts, unusual or otherwise, but I did get an "iDog", a speaker for my iPod in the form of a dog. It even barks when it really likes the music.

Anonymous said...

Neat. Remove all the Officers, Teachers, and support staff and replace them with the cheapest labor the game will offer. Then what happens? MW

Anonymous said...

As a joke, I received from a friend a book entitled: The Complete Manual of Sexual Positions. You'll be happy to know that if I ever decide to have a foursome, I'll know exactly what postions will be conducive to everyone's pleasure.

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh!!!

Anonymous said...

How realistic is this game? Nope. Don't tell me. I'm afraid to ask.

Anonymous said...

I like your wife's sense of humor. I didn't get one this year but I made sure to give my brother who loves to read these naked book marks of very volumptuous women. He was quiete shocked but I thought it was hysterical! ~M

Anonymous said...

I didn't really get anything 'unique', however, when I went shopping for a gift for my daughter I had a 'unique' experience! A digital camera was on my agenda, but there are so many out there, who knows which one to buy? So, when this nice kid came to my rescue I was all thrilled that he was so helpful. Well, helpful is nice and wonderful, but when one has a runny nose to go with it, well that is not good. He would "wipe" his nose with his hand and then go on with his explanations and then handled my purchases (I also bought a memory card to go with it.) I felt really dirty by the time I walked out of the store! EWWWWWWW!!!!

Ellie

PS...as my daughter was unwrapping her gift I was remembering my experience...ugh! Just glad to though the box away and be done with all that!

Anonymous said...

Jim, Nothing unique for me that I'm aware of. So, how is the Prison "game" these days??? --Bro, Ron