I didn't always hate basketball. In 5th grade I became a second-string small forward in the Saint Lawrence Catholic Church Youth League. I was a poor dribbler and didn’t know how to pass or shoot the ball. My team, “The Gouls,”—I remember the purple shirt with the cursive white lettering and number stretching across my midsection—had twin brothers, both shooting guards, both ball-hogs, carrying the team through a mediocre season. I scored one basket during our entire schedule, including our tournament play. The coach had me cherry-picking during the opponents free-throw attempts. I considered this charity work since the opposing coach didn’t seem to care that I stood on the other end of the court all by myself. A teammate rebounded the missed free-throw and fired the ball down the court. It took two tries for me to get the ball into the net.
After having a Cystoscopy, Retrograde Pyelogram, and Insertion of a Stent in my right kidney, I find myself playing basketball once again. The 4-millimeter stone’s jagged edges make it impossible for the doctor to surgically remove it. He says, “I’m going to send you home. Hopefully the stone will drop into the stent. Then I can pull out the stone in the stent without damaging the membrane of your urethra.”
Four days later and in basketball terms: I have yet to put the ball into the net. I’m taking three darvocets daily, a muscle relaxant, and antibiotics to fight off pain and infection. I’ve had bladder spasms; my lower back muscles feel like they’re pulling away from my spine and hips. By mid-October, if I don’t get all net, then I’m scheduled for the lithotripsy procedure where they blast the stone into tiny fragments; then maybe I’ll be able to get rid of them. Either way, I’ll experience another Cystoscopy. I refuse to explain what that is. Let’s just say that I’m a poor dribbler and that I can’t pass or shoot the ball. With that said, I’m going back to work on Tuesday, regardless of whether I have the doctor’s permission.
Ironically, when all of this is done, I have another season ahead of me. I have my left kidney stone to worry about. So now you know why I have grown to hate basketball.
18 comments:
My hand-eye coordination isn't too great either.
On a different subject, would this be a bad time to say, "This too shall pass"?
Please, don't make me laugh.
By mid october you should be able to pass and shoot fairly well on your right side. When your left side is done you will be able to do the same, and you may just want to tryout for the team. Great post. I will see you when I see you. Don't hurry back.
:-) MW
After reading your story, you'll always be Mr. Big Shot to me.
Sorry about the dangling modifier in the above post, Jim. Flunked my GED.
HaHa! Next time, try golf. :p
Hey Jim,
You're back! Oh my God, though -- what a horror show! I'm so sorry. Try to enjoy the Darvocett and don't go back to work. Sleep, rest! Be good to yourself.
Ouch. Hope you make the shot soon. ;)
I'd be really angry if I had to go through such a thing! The next couple weeks (not to mention what you've already gone through) have got to feel like torture! Write us a good rant, Jim! I want to know how it feels to be a man with a kidney stone!
P.S. Even if you don't share it with us, it could be very helpful. And that's my intention, to be helpful. So, are you pissed off and ready to write? I wish you a speedy recovery, Jim! --Robin
Yea baby! He's back in town and almost back to being himself. Keep pluggin away my man.
Hey I like the how the thethinker thinks!
Sounds like you have a game plan at least to get rid of the pesky little problem!
Oh, and once I wrote a letter to a friend and mentioned that I couldn't write in cursive very nicely. She wrote back and wondered what language cursive was. Yep, a college graduate at that!
Ellie
Christ, that must be the pits. I'd take off more time from work, too, and be in Darvocett City. Good luck in getting it over with, and then the next one.
Not firing on all cylinders are we? Maybe it's time to be traded. How 'bout the Toronto Raptors?
oh man! That must be a pain in the ... Well, you know what I mean. Hope you get better soon!
I'm impressed you are blogging with all the other stuff going on. I don't have any kidney stones that I know of, and I finally was able to update mine.
Jim, I remember the old basketball times. They really were "trying" times. I knock on wood that I haven't had the "stones". --Bro, Ron
Hi. Good to meet you. Good luck with all your procedures. I will pray for you. [do u believe in that stuff?]
Don't go to work on Tuesday. Stay home and blog. May your hoop dreams come true. All the best. :)
Are you doing better my man???
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