Sunday, October 29, 2006

HALLOWEEN TRAUMA (PART 2)

Here’s why mother’s shouldn’t let their sons grow up to be cowboys, or should I say dress them to be cowboys? Look! Just look at my outfit! Oh sure, at the time I was smiling. Wouldn’t you?—I’d just opened a present, the camera was pointed at me. But I think my smile was forced. Or at least I’m now wishing it were forced. I’m pretty sure I wanted to be a cowboy. A Clint Eastwood type of cowboy, not a Gene Autry type of cowboy! Not to be disrespectful, Mr. Autry did serve in World War II, but I’m not a musical type of guy. What happened to A Fistful of Dollars (1964), For a Few Dollars More (1965), The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly (1966), Hang’em High (1968), and The Outlaw of Josie Wales (1976)? I know, the last one was seven years after this photo, but so what—these were spaghetti westerns filmed in Italy and no one complained.

Now the complaints. Where’s my gun holster? Where’s my six-shooter? I’ll tell you where—there isn’t any! I had a guitar instead. I’m posing with it in another picture. My brother’s by my side. Guess what he is? A damned Indian Chief with complete headdress. Tons of feathers too. What was I to do? Shoot him with my six-stringer? Sing him to death?

So there you have it—another Halloween trauma. Like a Rhinestone Cowboy. Hell, I’d rather be in West World, a Malfunctioning Robot Cowboy, not a Village People “YMCA” Cowboy. I think you understand—a Macho Macho Man type of Cowboy! Or do you think I’m confused?

19 comments:

Lance Bass said...

Seems like you're having another Brokeback Moment.

Rock Hudson said...

What's wrong with Gene Autry?

Anonymous said...

Cofused.MW

Cheesy said...

Ha made me smile!! And remember the time that one year was running low on funds for outfitting the 5 kids for Holloweenie...

Poor middle son got the "pink rabbit suit" from hell,,, made out of old sleepers and a fox fur collar off my Grandmas old coat. At the time he lov'd it...
Today he says he needs therapy and for me to purge the family photo album... But at 5 yrs old I thought he looked sweet.
No wonder in later years he was ALWAYS the most bloodied vampire.

Anonymous said...

Jim, Nice picture. I agree, you don't quite look like the Clint Eastwood in the old Western movies BUT you're a happy camper with your new halloween costume on! Can you imagine everyone with their real looking six shooters in today's world? Keep them hanging! --Bro, Ron

Midnight Cowboy said...

I absolutely adore your blog.

heartinsanfrancisco said...

He was your brother. Surely you could have found some way to kill him.

Erik Donald France said...

Very funny -- Clint Eastwood ruled, and throw in Lee Van Cleef and Eli Wallach. . . At least you weren't "A Boy Named Sue." What doesn't kill us makes us. . .

Anonymous said...

No disrespect to Gene Autry, but I'm with ya on wanting to be Clint.

Also, is that the price tag hanging on the front there?

If so, you were WAY ahead of your time. Down here in FL, all the gangsta wanna-bes wear ALL clothing with the price tag. It started with just the baseball cap, but now it's all clothing must have the tag on it, unbent, and pristine. Once the tag gets crinkled, that article of clothing no longer gets worn. Of course, these are almost always the upper middle class kids who live in $350k homes, and have absolutely no "street cred."

Wonderful post.

Liberace said...

I like rhinestone cowboys!

EmBee said...

It's the neatly tied bow at the collar that sets the tone for the whole ensemble... Halloween always sucked for me too!

Laura said...

I love that picture! You look so cute in your little cowboy outfit. True, you should have had a six gun or something. But cute just the same.

Kim Rossi Stagliano said...

You were GENE AUTRY! Lord, you were cute!

I smelled a cap gun last summer and OOH the memories of childhood fun. Didn't become gun-in-the-glovebox loonies and never lost life, limb or eyeball. Can't you smell that smoke?

Ollie ollie out in freeeeeee!

Jo said...

I can always count on the pictures on your blog to make me laugh. You're a hoot...!

***chuckle***

Where's your ten gallon hat, BTW? Even Clint had a hat.

Anonymous said...

Hey Dude, where is your feathered hat!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Oh, the cap guns! What fun! As for the costume, it's not bad, a definite improvement over the "Pocahontas" one a few posts back...lol What costume will you be wearing this Halloween? I was a bandito a few years back, but it scared some of the kids from coming onto my front porch, so no more costumes for me...

Anonymous said...

This one made me chuckle out loud! Is your brother older or younger?

Ellie

Bird on a Wire said...

"The Outlaw Josie Wales" rocks. Great picture, by the way.

Anonymous said...

Outlaw Jissie James!