You put your hand on my shoulder and spoke softly about the things you were going to do to me. I got nervous, felt your warm breath on the back of my neck. I shook my head, leaned forward, my way of saying, "I will have none of that." You felt my tension, said you’d be gentle with me down there, but when I questioned you further, you joked around, said you’d done this sort of thing before. Then I surprised you, personalized it, told you about the other guy, told you his name. "Yeah," I said, "he informed me of your gentle touch." You laughed, but did not reveal any information about him. You did not disclose any intimate details. "Don’t worry," you said, "You’re not going to feel a thing. Once I grab the end of the stent, I’ll tie it to the door knob, hold you tight, whisper sweet nothings into your ear, and kick the door shut."At home my mother-in-law said I was making a big deal out of nothing. "He’ll numb it first. You’ll probably feel a slight tugging. Nothing more."
I tried to act brave. I jokingly said, "It has a name you know."
She laughed. I laughed. My wife rolled her eyes. I no longer have a stone in my right kidney. At least that’s what Dr. V told me. "But I never passed it," I said. He claimed that the lipthotripsy blasted it into sand. One more cystoscopy and I am done (right side anyway). Ironically, I’m most certain I saw the stone fragments after the doctor’s appointment. There had been a slight discoloration in my urine; sorry to wreck your fall traditions, but it looked like apple cider. As for you, Dr. V, "You can quit me any time."
17 comments:
Hey Gald you feeling better!
Fantastic post. Pictures and story. It hurts for me just to read it. What an analogy! Hope to see you at the ranch cowboy.
:-} MW
It just makes me shiver, the thought of passing a kidney stone!
Jim, Congrats cowboy. Now you'll eventually have to concentrate on the "other" side. Cider is good to drink these Autumn days! :) --Bro, Ron
And you thought you coudn't write!
Will the real JR please stand up. Love the pictures.
Be sure to keep drinking lots (and lots) of water and flush everything out.
What a great story, Jim, and the title is just perfect! You always make us laugh. Glad that stone is gone, gone, gone! Grab your wife and dance around the kitchen! Whoo hoo!
Thank God you're feeling better. Very amusing post!
Kidney stones seem to run in my husbands family. His mother had to have surgery to get one removed when she was pregnant with my husband. Two of his three sisters had stones. His little brother too. My husband had a large stone that was stuck in the urethra. He couldn't relieve himself, bladder full, pain excruciating, trip to the emergency room, and you know the rest. Seems he had a high level of uric acid in his blood (known as gout) that caused the stone they put him on medication to lower his uric acid level and he gets a blood test every three months to check the level in his bloodstream. So far, no more stones. Most people, when they think of gout, think of pain and swelling of the hands or feet. But it can also crytalize in your kidneys causing stones, kidney failure and could lead to death if left untreated. His brother's stones were also uric acid related. He is on the same medication now that my husband takes. Both of my sons have had stones too. I myself have never had a kidney stone, but seeing the pain my family went through when they were dealing with theirs, I kind of know what you were going through. I'm glad your feeling better and I hope you never have to go through anything like that again.
Glad to hear the stone is gone.
No apple cider for me for a loong time. Thanks alot.
glad you are feeling better! The pictures are funny. are you guys twins. hahaha. Great post.
I love that story. :)
Great post!
Thanks for stopping in at my site. Hope you're feeling better.
I might never drink apple juice again! thanks! ~M
I'll never look at apple cider the same way again.
Congrats on passing the stone!
Let's call it the apple cider snatcher. The hatch is flowing now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When I saw the pictures, it reminded me of "Howdy Dooddy" time. Keep them hanging, with the cliff hangers.
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