First, on Michellespells (blog site), I intercepted Wichita Lineman’s question regarding punk band names. Hey, my June 2nd blog was already written, honestly—CANNED ahead of time. Great punk band name don’t you think? Liquid Ham. I’m sure Wichita Lineman would agree. Also, MW is a reliable source and can back me up regarding yesterday's blog.
Not to get sidetracked, but I will anyway—always do—as you can see in the photo, I’m no Wolfman Jack(or Wolfman Tim, nice story Wichita Lineman). I think it’s the Polish bloodline from my mother’s side. No chest hairs here. You could try enlarging the photo at least a thousand times to see the few wayward strands poking out across my nipple line (CPR term, not sexual, in fact, very clinical).
Again, Liquid Ham is a such a cooool name. Unless you go to the link someone sent me the other day on my blog regarding cannibalism. Some guy served up his wife at his Michigan eatery. Body parts boiling in pans. (Think Liquid Ham.) Severed head in a box on the storage shelf. The latest rumor, this man is at the correctional facility where I’m employed. Synergy at work.
Not to get sidetracked again, but did you see the new issue of Orchid, A Literary Review? The photographs by Mollie Edgar show only legs: legs protuding from a storage chest, legs fallen away from a toilet, legs on the floor sticking out of an elevator or on the hallway floor or on a bed coming out of a blanket. What happened? Something sinister's going on.
So how desperate am I? JW recommended that I link up with festeringass.com. I'm not that desperate ... yet. Interesting site though. MW calls it the "blistering bum". If I really want all that attention maybe I should seek employment at Danny's, maybe they'd open on Mondays and women would accidently show up (I thought of this from Cheri's blog). Alright, I promise, three days in a row without a shirt would be way way way too much. I'm thinking of posing in a sash like they do in all those beauty pageants. Perhaps tomorrow. What do you think?
3 comments:
Hairlessness is not a Polish trait. My son Joshua at 21 years old is afraid he is turning into a wolf as he has spotted hairs growing out of the side of his face. He grew a full beard at 16 years old like his father. I am bald now with hair growing in every conceivable place but my head. However, he has not made the connection.On a more subtle note: the nipple. Substanance. Without its' nutrition; life cannot continue. Put tassles on yours and keep writing. On the CANIBAL I want facts. Did I eat at his restuarant? MW
Jim,
Writers are a shy bunch, eh? Too funny -- very synergistic of
you :-> Liquid Ham is a better name than the one for a local punk band formed in the south during the Sex Pistols' tour -- Johnny Vomit and the Leather Scabs. But ham and cannibalism -- yuck! What's with all the cannibals lately? The German guy who got volunteers to be eaten, the freakazoid in Texas, and now this?
As far as photos go, for some reason shots of women are more alluring than shots of men. I suppose it's an aquired taste. Try pinkisthenewblog for that approach. Evil!
Love the whole post, Jim. As for the sash, go for it! Just don't do the duct tape route that the Miss Texas types favor. Duct tape is a cruel, cruel mistress.
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