Tuesday, September 11, 2007

NOTES FROM AN INMATE


















My teach lost what little cool was left in him. Put three of my road dogs on ice. And all we was doin’ was chillin’ man. Doin’ our time the ways we likes it. Waitin’ for the tooters to get off their asses and check our works. It don’t matter no how. We was turnin’ in our papers. That’s our game—shove piles of shit on them—no names, no page numbers, not even fingerprints or DNA. We starts the flux. Let the tooters sort it out, that’s what they get paid for. It ain’t like theys gonna dry snitch on us. Specially when the Teach starts actin’ like the Po-Po. Dress this man in blue, I say. Make him a Black Tag. We start spittin’ for fun.

Never fails man. The Teach, Mr. Five-Fucking-Oh himself, gets in the mix, starts pressin’ our bits. Says we gots to sit down. Stay seated, he yells. Then all kayahs (I think I spelt it write)—all kayahs breaks out. He flexes on my man McAllister first. Tells him in so many words to get ta steppin’. Next, it’s Brewster, tells him to kick rocks. The third guy, Parker, he’s okay, still learnin’ how to jail, he gets his work back. But Mr. Five-Fucking-Oh won’t back off. He says, Lemme see your stuff. Nothing to show, I knows, just numbers and letters on paper. Instead of giving in, Parker throws his shit on the floor, and Teach makes him into another Jimmy Hoffa.

Now it sounds like death in here. Nothin’ worse than doin’ your bit in a vacuum. I can’t breathe. I needs to shake the stink off. I’m gonna hook up with my dogs later. We gots us a portable hot tub near the greenhouse and a Shop Vac full of spud juice. Teach says we cants take our hands off each other. He’s probably right. I’m hopin’ Parker shows and gets drunk. I’m gonna turn him out.

9 comments:

the walking man said...

what the fuck can one say Jim, this is at least less sarcastic than what I originally wrote. So did he get Parker drunk and turn him into his bitch?

mark

Beth said...

Disturbing - what I do understand of it - and because of all that I don't.

Erik Donald France said...

"Make him a Black Tag" -- what a phrase among phrases. I heard this one last week: "home skilly waffle dawg."

the walking man said...

beth

teacher turned into a prick, threw the of his buddies out of class they were waiting for the guards to toss their cells, not leaving any evidence of wrongdoing in them not even DNA

flux= grief trouble bullshit

let the guards sort it out

Dry snitch= they aren't going to go through the hassle of making shit up because they'd have to to do paperwork

especially because the teacher is doing their job for them (po-po = police) make him a black tag+ name badge instead of civilian ID card

five-0 Hawaii 50 the old tv show

they start chaos because the teacher started with McCallister telling him to get out and writing a ticket on him

Brewster gets the same

Parker is a newer inmate but gets all mouthy because his buddies are getting the tickets and told to leave even though he did some work to hand in he threw it down in avt of defiance teacher whacks him dead just like jimmy hoffa---kicked him out

portable hot tub + still

spud juice= is jail house made liquor

teacher said they were so thick they were all probably gay

the narrator is hoping that parker shows up and gets drunk because ...well figure that part out for yourself...like a pimp turns a prostitute out or uses her (in this case him) for his own sexual gratification.

the walking man said...

home skilly waffle dog + bi before he or she got in there

ivan@c reativewriting.ca said...

Best sh*t right now on any blog.

Surprise?

Yes.

Ivan

Anonymous said...

Great story. Enjoyed the read. MW :)

Cheri said...

Freaky!

eric1313 said...

Damn! That's shit's off the hizzy.

Parker's muthah fuckin ass got turned out.

Like a chickenhead.