ISIAH THOMAS & THE TRICKLE DOWN THEORY

In our lunchroom at work, I overheard the tail end of a conversation between our designated sexual harassment counselor/grievance coordinator and my boss. For some reason, even though I knew the conversation was inappropriate, I joined in.

“Reminds me of the kid eating yogurt on the back of the bus,” I said.

The school secretary looked my way. “What?”

“Don’t you remember the yogurt trick kids used to play in the cafeteria?” I asked.

Now I had everyone’s attention. I retold the story of this kid eating yogurt on the back of the bus. With a large spoon full of yogurt in his mouth, he’d asked the girls, “Guess what I am?” They, of course, had no idea, so the youngster would start massaging his neck and making weird facial expressions. Not long after that he’d start spitting yogurt at everyone.

“You’re gross!” was a popular phrase back then. But this trick elicited the following angry response: “You’re a dick!”

And his reaction: “You’re absolutely one hundred percent correct.”

After lunch, I resumed TABE testing (Test of Adult Basic Education). My boss had reminded me that anyone who refused to take the test or simply skipped out should receive an “036 Out of Place” ticket and automatically be put on “unemployable status.” No problem there.

At the end of the workday, my boss asked me how testing went.

“Two inmates missed their testing session,” I said, holding up two tickets, “…and they’re bunkies.”

“I wonder why they didn’t show,” she responded, knowing that on some rare occasions prisoners have legitimate excuses.

“I don’t know. Maybe they were tossing yogurt.”