Sunday, February 4, 2007

THE VELCRO FACTOR

I think this business of “lovability” is a dangerous area for writers; more than a few writers have been seduced into thinking that characters should be charming and lovable. I don’t think so, you know; I think they have to be interesting. They have to have enough of, let’s call it the “Velcro factor.” We have to be able to attach ourselves to them and they must attach themselves to us.
—Charles Baxter, interviewed by Stewart Ikeda

I’ve had the displeasure of working with all kinds of students during my teaching career. From the suburban high school female yapper who confronted me with the following question, “You don’t like me, do you?” —where I answered in front of the whole class, “You don’t give me any reason to like you.” —to the urban male ward of the state and delusional fantasizer working his jimmy from under the student/desk combo. “He’s doing it again,” my all male student class would inform me, and instead of pretending to be oblivious to the situation by letting him clean up in the bathroom afterwards, I decided to let him sit in his own mess.

Lately I’ve been hearing some radio advertisement where the narrator claims his proven training program can help parents alter their children’s behavior, and I can’t help thinking that if this were true, why are so many children “state raised,” and why do so many children advance to prison? Take the female yapper I mentioned, I met her mother at parent/teacher conferences and she proceeded to rip me a new derriere (putting it mildly). “My daughter said you announced to the whole class that you didn’t like her. Is that true?” she asked. I had difficulty answering the question, not because I didn’t have an explanation but because the mother yapped on and on and on just like her daughter. I’m willing to bet the daughter went to college, and perhaps earned a degree or met someone within her new social circle and married and had children and continued the vicious cycle of yappers. I’m willing to bet her chances of prison were nil.

As for my little circle jerk, it didn’t take him long to figure out that he could ask for permission prior to working his jimmy, which in turn meant that he could work his jimmy elsewhere and clean up immediately after his fantasy. His actions were always determined by mine. If I refused him a potty break early, I and my all male students were punished with his private moment. So just exactly who was training whom? And if I had to guess to his current whereabouts, he probably graduated to criminal sexual conduct and is sporting a prison number across his back. Still, looking back, I wish both of them would have just zipped it, but for how long I don't know.

17 comments:

ivan said...

Oh I don't know.

Said the Abominable Snowman's wife to the Abominable Snowman, "I don't think you're so abominable."

etain_lavena said...

This is sooo horrid, Unfortunately if you do not teach or guide your children, and let them just learn form your actions, they will grow up making the same mistakes as you. History repeating itself.

Nosjunkie said...

I have worked with cildren before and I have come to realise that the only program that alters a childs behaviour is dicipline and attention both in the right measures.
our children are the products of the examples we set them.

SaM-GiRL said...

I agree with lee. Monkey see monkey do.

Danny Tagalog said...

Euww. When someone puts on such a display, what the hell has gone wrong at home?

Charles Gramlich said...

Ahh, People. Gotta Love 'em. Cause you can't kill 'em all without ruining the environment.

Erik Donald France said...

I'd rather face a yap than a jerk any day. Regardless, these characters stick. Point well made.

Anonymous said...

Velcro would have worked as well.
Enjoyed the post. MW

Michelle's Spell said...

Teaching is rough, no doubt! I once had a friend with a situationn like your male student -- she walked up to him and said, I am French (very thick accent) and you do not scare me with your behavior. Then she invited all the class to observe. It made me laugh, I have to say!

lulu said...

They are playing those ads on the radio here as well, and I just don't understand why parents let get to the point where they feel they need some sort of magic intervention. Why need teach your kids to respect authority and play nice in the first place?

I have had kids say that I don't like then before and my response is always "I don't have to like you, I have to teach you." ( I actually like almost all of my kids, I just want to kill them once in a while)

thethinker said...

I could never imagine doing what you do, having to put up with all sorts of kids. I know how students can be in my classes and that makes me wonder how teachers deal with us.

EA Monroe said...

JR, I only lasted for nine weeks of student teaching and that was in art. I admire you for sticking to the velcro of teaching!

LINYSenior said...

Having worked with delinquent boys for well over 30 years, I can identify with the stuff you have to put up with in your situation. I have no question as to your choosing to ignore the young guy may have taken him back instead of his seeming desire to 'pull your chain' so to speak. What ever...at least he eventually limited his activities to a more appropriate place.

Anonymous said...

He be doing jimmy behind jimmy's back!!! What an art....

Laura said...

Sometimes I think teachers should get hazzard pay.

JR's Thumbprints said...

Laura,
I do get hazard pay in the prison, unlike other teaching jobs.

Anonymous said...

Jim, Wow. I would hate to have a "jerk" like that kid in my class. But I guess you would have try to ignore??? Hopefully he's not out in society because if he was??? --Bro, Ron