After three winters of shoveling snow with a non-ergonomic shovel, my wife came home with a surprise—a Toro snowblower. She told me a coworker gave it to her, no questions asked. As I unloaded it from my wife’s van, I couldn’t help but think about receiving and concealing stolen property. To be perfectly honest though (how’s that for irony?) these thoughts soon dissipated with each passing snowfall.
The following winter we had a couple move in next door—an elderly gentleman and his younger girlfriend, both retail workers, and by the looks of their furniture, a Value City futon and pressboard television stand, I could tell they were embarking on a new relationship together.
With the next heavy snowfall, I decided to clear their driveway as an official “welcome to the neighborhood” gesture. I had just finished making my last go around when the elderly gentleman pulled into the driveway. He introduced himself as “Jerry” and commented on my snowblower. “I need to get me one,” he said. “How much does something that size cost?”
I proudly told him how my wife acquired it for free from a coworker whose lifestyle resembled Elizabeth Taylor’s. “I guess she didn’t want her soon-to-be ex-husband to have it,” I said.
After an awkward moment of silence, Jerry said, “My ex-wife did the same thing to me with my tools.” Then he abruptly thanked me and excused himself from my presence.
18 comments:
Damn, small world. It wasn't his snowblower was it? Oh, man.
Enjoyed the post. MW
That "What if" question lingers...doesn't it?
Umm, yeah, I had to sleep in, just couldn't help myself and then I had to go romp in the snow with the dog and give the cats their milk...it has been a crazy morning, everyone clammoring for my attention when all I want to do is send a ~wink~ out to someone. Mission is accomplished now, everyone has had their romp in the snow, milk in the bellies and every other living creature in our house is STILL sleeping in at this hour. But the ~wink~ is there...all there.
Snazzy unit, blower and blog. Concise. Almost understated. Sadly, there will inevitably come the station in life when the selfprofelled unit is of the most desirous--unitlly.
Most Admirably,
Irwin
Classic story -- women get the houses, men get the cars or so the saying goes. In my case, I got my computer and that's it! My ex got everything else. But that's all I needed -- the freedom was worth any number of things I had.
You should have offered to give him a ride around on the snow blower, you know, for old times sake.
JR,
I know she had to have the upperhand, but how low can you stoop? Whatever happened to the male honor code?
Awkward!
whahahahahahah...that is so funny/...poor dude must have felt like a nitwit....hihihi.:)And jippy for you and your snowblower!!!
Obvious everybody in the room is heap smart.
I wouldn't have gotten that O. Henry twist straight off. And all you guys got it, right down to combing and grooming the snowblower.
Thanks for your comment on my post, Jim.
I got you confused with Jeff, another correspondent...So I gave Jim this great big thank-you for commmenting on my post, while all the while, it was Jeff, a professional writer whom I know.
...But then you came in to correct and mentioned something about a snowblower and, voila, I am finally enlightened.
The snowblower piece.
I can somehow twist your Toro! Toro! Toro! story into an Arabic tale.
(This is strictly fictional; shows I have too much time on my hands):
The neighbour accuses Jim of taking his snowblower.
The authorities come, ask JR to explain.
Says JR: "My neighbour had sexual relations with me. Then I took his snowblower."
Said the neighbour: "That is not my snowblower."
Ah, well. Frustrated short story writer.
Cheers,
Ivan
What an awkward situation to be in.
Beware of soon-to-be-ex'es bearing gifts. One of the joys of giving up a nice bungalow to an ex- was being able to rent again -- and not have to do any maintenance ;)
Lose some, win some. . . . .
What goes around, comes around! You sure look cold. It was 46 degrees here in Okla.City today--no wind, no snow, no ice! Couldn't believe it! Lots of sunshine. Hope it hangs around. Donnetta
I once worked for a law firm that specialized in divorce, and one very high profile divorce was held up by the husband and wife squabbling over who would get the lawn mower, and who would get the snow blower. I guess it can be a touchy subject :-)
Josie
Ha--excellent twist.
I'm leaving you a link here to a little series I am doing--thought you might like it.
http://andastheworldturns.blogspot.com/2007/02/manic-monday-edition-no-3.html
Thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment. The encouragment is nice. I am going to come back and read more.
Jim, A good one! :) I wonder if it was HIS snow blower as well??? Very interesting twist. I bet that the dude next store was the same dude who parked his boat trailer on your property???? --Bro, Ron
HA! Now he'll wonder forever if that is his snowblower. Serves him right for galvanting about with his trophy girlfriend.
Small world!! you have interresting neighbors... just dont let your wife have a get together at your house... mayby it is his snow blower. hehehehe
Oh geez.
I would have done/said the exact same thing as you.
Open mouth: insert food.
Great blog. I'm going to have to come back and read more later.
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