No one knows Jack like Jack knows Jack. Ain’t that right Jack? I’m referring to Jack Brandenburg, a State Representative for Michigan’s 24th District and a Macomb County Republican whose re-election campaign includes a state takeover of Detroit.
Seems Jack cried foul in a letter to his constituents regarding a Detroit Free Press editorial claiming that he missed 123 votes. Well—yeah—he’s not disputing the number, in fact he agrees with the number; It’s just that they were "unfair" and "irresponsible" in reporting it because he had "extenuating circumstances." They knew, Jack claims, beyond a reasonable doubt why he had missed so many votes.
Gosh Jack, now I understand how you operate. When you came to visit our prison, you weren’t interested in finding out about the education programs or what purpose they served. You certainly didn’t speak to any of the teachers. Your quick chicken-walk down our hallways had been enough to justify slamming us in an editorial for the very same FREEP you are now mad at. What was the title of your editorial again? Oh yes—"State Prison GED Program Deserves Cuts." Seems you were armed with all kinds of data, all kinds of numbers that you could twist in the wind regardless of the facts, especially the one where the Michigan Department of Corrections produced half the GED’s in the state last year. Guess that doesn’t matter, probably has more to do with your hatred of Detroit.
Well Jack, I wish you the best of luck in your campaign. Take it easy with your new hip, don’t pound the pavement too much. And thanks for letting me know that you missed only 17 votes due to your hip surgery. And thanks for letting me know that you missed 13 votes when you had the flu this spring. And thanks for letting me know that you missed 93 votes in two days due to the misdiagnoses of your son’s lymph node cancer; glad to hear that it was only a mole. Yep: 17 + 13 + 93 = 123. And thanks for letting me know that you’ve been working since you were 12 years old. And thanks for letting me know how long you’ve been married, your wife’s name, and how many kids you have.
Gosh Jack, I feel like we’re such good friends now. Your follow-up email regarding your criticism of our program made me feel much better. Thanks for acknowledging that I work with a "difficult population." Thanks for stating that what I do is "truly heroic." (I have to be honest with you, Jack: the scar on my forearm isn’t from an inmate—I had 2nd stage Melanoma a few years ago). Thanks for all you’ve done for me, for your representation, for patting me on the back. I’m still wondering if you’ve found the soft spot to stick the knife?
11 comments:
Love the post. I like it when you wax political. Jack is just another good example of what's wrong with the world today. People who expect a higher standard from other people but not from themselves. In any case, maybe its better for your district that he not vote at all.
Ya wouldn't want to take over the city now would ya?MW
Wow, Jim, great post! Love the photo! You should send that one in for the op/ed page of the FREEP! --R
Did the Freep endorse Jack for another go 'round? Just asking.
Hey Jim,
not exactly Jack the Lad, is he? Sounds gruesome. Glad I'm in Wayne County (ha!) Seriously, isn't the prison population supposed to keep growing, needing even more support for your program? Or should we just throw inmates to the lions and focus more on bread and circuses? Cool pic, too! ~~E'
Great post -- love the angry energy! Good picture.
Hey Erik,
We're losing teachers thru attrition and justifying are existence thru silly forms such as the 5 page ALP (Adult Learning Plan) created by DLEG (Department of Labor & Economic Growth). We had a much simpler 1 page form before.
Jack heads the steering committee for the Dept. of Corrections and doesn't believe in the GED Program. He'd rather see inmates improve their resume writing skills. I'm sure corporate America is drooling over these future prospects. I guess Jack doesn't look at the help-wanted ads where the minimum requirement is at least a GED. He's been feeding at the public trough too long.
In Idaho, our last Governor actually attended many of our prison GED/Vocational Graduations. It was cool. Now that we have a new Gov. who knows what will happen. I dislike politics ... everything is in flux, there doesn't seem to be any solid ground ... if something good comes along, there's always someone waiting to bleep it up.
Priceless Post. Love the sarcasm. You defiantly know how to use a blog to it's fullest potential.
Jack be little
Jack be quick
Political takeovers
make me sick
Love the post Jim. Politics make me very angry as well. But I just have to let you know... your picture is awesome! I have 3 of the you don't know jack games and they are funny as hell!
Here are some links that I believe will be interested
Greets to the webmaster of this wonderful site! Keep up the good work. Thanks.
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