I’ve been at a loss for words lately, more so than Michael Vick at a press conference. I was standing at the officer’s podium, my ears burning, waiting to hear about the alleged incident that took place during our immobilization. A certain OPMT (Out Patient Mental Treatment) prisoner—drawing attention to himself for modeling off his skivvies and flip-flops—refused to lock-up, a mandatory requirement during such drills. He stood his ground, barking incomprehensible nonsense to whomever would listen, and rumor had it, as soon as the siren blew and the dogs howled, he ingested an illegal substance. It wasn’t until after they cuffed him that he decided to fight.
“So what happened with Captain Underpants?” I asked.
“He went to seg,” one officer answered, knowing damned well that I was hoping to extract as many details as I could. They didn’t budge.
I decided to “push on,” a popular term used by the prisoners when you’re not invited into the conversation. As I turned to leave, I slipped and grabbed the podium to right myself. “Why is there water on the floor here?” I asked.
“It’s not water,” another officer stated.
“Then what is it?”
“Dog pee,” he answered.
If I hadn’t been at a loss for words, I would’ve said, “Well can we get Michael Vick to clean it up?”
11 comments:
push on -- good expression. Nothing wasted.
I like how you always leave us thinking...hmm
I just found out that we're adopting the neighbors dog.. a little cutie pie named Little Precious. I'm so excited! It's been lonely since my parents put our dog down last summer...
i'm still chuckling! Funny story, well, maybe not so much then as it is now, but isn't that the way it usually goes? Glad you're still plugging along.
Congratulations, also, on your 400th post. We thought we had lost you there for a while.
Who the heck was Eddie?
Bailey has turned into a beautiful dog. Don't let Michael Vick near her. What a creep.
Well Jim stepping into a little dog pee is better than the usual dog shit you have to work in.
Peace
mark
The drug and bomb sniffing dogs are very excitable dogs but for the dog to pee at the podium...um?
I'm not so sure it was because of the high amounts of testosterone or other measurable malady that would make the dog vacate its bladder. Or like us, they just don't care to give it a bathroom break. Nice pic and post. MW:)
Dog pee at the podium and you slipped in it.
Your job is a never-ending source of fascinating events.
Kinda hard to quarterback that way.
Ivan
well, it seems Michael Vick has turned himself over to Jesus...Hummmmmmmm?????
That was a long post for someone that couldn't think of anything to say.
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