HOOKING UP

In my bachelor days fine dining meant ordering by number, and if I had had more influence, our wedding would've been planned in very much the same manner--out of one of those Little Wedding Chapels that sold various packaged deals at reasonable prices. However, due to free loading off the future in-laws for longer than I'd like to admit (living in their damp moldy basement rent free had been a logical choice for stockpiling my money) I decided to go the traditional route. We had purchased a house jointly, and after making a deposit on a hall for a specific day, we decided to get married at the Catholic Church in our new neighborhood.

Enter Father Pasquali. We told him of our new home and that we'd like to get married on August 21st. Rather taken aback, he commented, "I hope you didn't reserve a hall."

My future-wife and I looked at each other and decided to let him continue.

"I'll have to check with Anna, our secretary, to see if that date is available."

When Father Pasquali left his office, there was no finger pointing, neither of us said, "I told you so." We simply waited. Let fate decide.

He returned with Anna in tow, and she informed us that all of August had been booked except for the 21st. I believe I made the initial comment, "We'll take it," but if you were to ask my wife, she insists that it was she who spoke first. One thing is for certain, both of us had to provide the necessary documentation in regards to our Catholic faith and pony up the money for marriage classes. Dripping with sarcasm, on the short ride back to our money-pit-of-a-home, I said, "I am so looking forward to learning all about marriage, how about you?" I needn't tell you her answer, afterall, we had already made a major purchase under different last names. What better way to demonstrate our faith and commitment.