A FEW GOOD MEN (AND WOMEN TOO)

I’m no G.I. Joe hiding in a foxhole in Afghanistan; I’m more like an ugly-ass Ken gymnasticising the parallel bars of a paramilitary organization. You don’t break the chain of command where I work; you don’t turn down opportunities; you don’t question your superiors, or your superior’s superiors—unless you’re begging to be verbally counseled and written up.

As a recent transfer to a new facility, I had forewarned my coworkers of my plan of attack, and they, in turn, forewarned me of the possible repercussions. So when our former prison warden pulled the school principal out of our staff meeting to discuss matters regarding yours truly, a former coworker, a teacher who retired years later after the State Police led her out in handcuffs, said “Damn you’re good.” And indeed, I thought I’d made quite an impression.

After their discussion, my red-faced boss returned, and with an accusatory finger pointed in my direction said, “You broke the chain of command.”

I’m no G.I. Joe, and I’m certainly not a whistle-blower either. I simply answered a memorandum the warden had sent me. I was a hostage negotiator at my previous worksite and he wanted to know whether I would continue in that capacity.

My written response started something like this: I will no longer go beyond the call of duty of a Michigan Department of Corrections School Teacher. I listed several valid reasons, including issues regarding my wage and years of service. This was the beginning of a long, tumultuous battle with various administrators. Years later, and I’m still that ugly-ass Ken protecting what’s mine. I guess you could say, “I have the power of schmooze.”