Tuesday, July 10, 2007

TRUMP CARDS














I’ll be the first to admit it, I’m not much to look at—a younger version of Ivan Prokopchuck. Not that it bothers me; Inmates often make fun of my appearance.

“Hey Mr. T, is that a zit on your forehead?”

“Damn right. And it’s going home with me tonight.”

Or they’ll make fun of my clothing. “Your Dockers are kind of tight aren’t they?”

My response, “I guess it’s not as nice as your outfit. Where do you shop?”

The Michigan Department of Corrections provides them clothing with a unique six-digit number stenciled on the outside of every item. Call it personalized clothing. The longer the sentence, the more faded the numbers become.

They shouldn’t force me to play my hand, especially those with a fresh set of blues.

I trump them with: “freedom” and “choices.” They typically fold.

7 comments:

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

JR,

We definitely look alike, though I am much older.
This is a good thing or a bad thing.
:)

But there's something you don't know.
For the past forty years, I have had men, women and one or two dour hermaphrodites trying to put the moves on old Ivan.
I am positive that if I ever worked in a prison, some old shower-stooper would be bound to saw off a length of pipe and try to give me a ring.
Don't know about you, but my wife used to say, "You're cute,but you're kind of dosey."

Well, you're obviously not dosey, but I get more email and comments from blogging ladies remarking on "how cute" that JR Tomlinson is.

There are worse curses to have.

Ivan

Jo said...

Oh, guys, come on, you're both adorable. And you know it. Ha!

We've haven't seen Ivan's knees yet, though. :-)

JR, don't set the petunias on fire.

Cheers,
Josie

thethinker said...

I love your backyard.

Danny Tagalog said...

Not a wasted word there, is there!?

geewits said...

In the post titled "Super Shocked," you look kind of like John Mahoney. I LOVE John Mahoney! It's rather wicked and funny that you take the little freedom digs at your inmate people.

EA Monroe said...

You have a great backyard, JR! A lovely place to spend time, roast marshmellows, and then go skinny dipping in the pool!

Anonymous said...

Jim, Let's toast some weenies!! Nice backyard! --Bro, Ron