Last week I went for my annual skin cancer check-up to see if I had a reoccurrence of melanoma. Since then, I have been troubling over what the woman reading my health chart said to me. As I sat on the examining table, eager to see the doctor, this attractive woman, this Heather Locklear type sipping from the fountain of youth, commented on my place of employment. She was curious, yet had it all wrong. I informed her that I did not work at the county jail (a common misperception) and that my students had already been tried and convicted of their crimes.
This piqued her interest. She asked more questions. I thought that maybe she was interested in applying for a prison healthcare job. I misunderstood.
Soon she was telling me about her teenage son and his friend and how they were caught selling heroin. The friend’s mom was a crack head and her boyfriend a minor drug supplier. I’ll try not to drag this out too long, but believe me, I sat on that examining table for at least fifteen minutes listening and commenting.
Here’s where it gets weird, or sad, or a little bit of both: Her son ended up in a juvenile detention facility and is serving time in an out-of-state boot camp. His friend robbed a dollar store at gunpoint and is serving an eight-year minimum at The Thumb Correctional Facility in Lapeer, Michigan. Our conversation went from her son and how well he’s adjusting, to her, this woman, this Heather Locklear type, telling me about her plans on visiting her son’s friend. She wanted to know how much money she could send him and whether he’d have the opportunity to take college courses once he completed his GED. In addition, she said he was a sweet boy and that his sentence was too harsh.
I reminded her that this kid would have some serious growing up to do in prison. She went on and on and on about his redeeming qualities. Then she said it, one word, or made-up word, or hell, I don’t know, something I hadn’t understood until I did an internet search on Wikipedia. She proudly told me that this kid, this friend of her son’s, had often referred to her as a “MILF.” She laughed. She actually laughed.
I laughed too. Why wouldn’t I? —I didn’t know any better. What more can I say? I don’t have cancer. There’s nothing to cut out. At least not on me.
19 comments:
Man from fishin to shockin. Sometimes it's best going thru life like Mr. Magoo. That is just plain crazy. Thank God no cancer.
Enjoyed the post. Found it troubling and indicative of the time we live. MW
very strange indeed. So glad you are cancer free, we want you around for a very long time. You make me laugh, and that is hard to do...thanks
I suppose it made her feel better about herself. Knowing that a younger man/boy is attracted to her, but she shouldn't allow herself to get lost in some stupid fantasy about him being a "James Dean" at Seveteen. SHe'll end up getting used.
I'm glad the test went well, how scary! One of my favorite teachers lost her husband to skin cancer, sometimes he used to stop by and take her to lunch. THey were such a great couple. It was horrible to see her lose the love of her life. I'm not just saying that, he truly was her soulmate I believe.
-P
FYI - responeded to your comment back at my place. Thanks for reading the long post. We are also on the "Do not call list" but it's not infallible unfortunatel. Nothing really is I guess.
-P
JR, that's great news that your cancer is all gone.
You know, it's not hard to understand how those young fellows go astray, with a role model like that. It's just creepy. Eeiuwww.
Glad to hear you received a clean bill of health.
I wonder..did she know what that means?
If she did, sad.
If she didn't, still sad.
There's a birthday party for Ivan over at my place.
I had a look too and thought it was related to "wilfing" ( http://technology.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,2053536,00.html ).
How wrong I was!
I guess her laughter was nervous bearing in mind the conversation, but my God - we all had a few MILF's when that age, eh? Locklear lookalike or not....
Thought you had disappeared, JR? What with all that odd artwork on the old site! Thought your students were playing a prank...!
Pleased things are going well:)
That's good news to hear, JR!! Now you can go swimming. Don't forget the sunscreen!
Good Lord! When professionalism crosses the street and becomes well, something else!
So glad to hear your good news!
I do believer there is a thirteen letter word for the condition known as MILF.
Fine, I suppose, as long as it's somebody else's mother :-(
Ivan
Jim, TDF too damned funny -- cracked me up. Glad no skin cancer, certainly. As for the Heather Locklears of the world, attention must be paid ;)
Jim glad you got a clean bill of health.
The other is a sad commentary on how society changes to match the unreality of the big screen, but by the time the kid gets out he not be interested in women anymore.
TWM,
You're right about that. We had the inmates watch a video called: "The Rape Elimination Act." Most of them got plenty of shits and giggles over it.
Glad to hear the good report and on a less important note glad to know you won't have to spend more time listening to that lady. She sounds way to flattered by a degrading term and way to eager to help this young boy out. Sounds like one of those strange teacher-pupil things. Sad is right.
Hey, I spent several hours on Lake Huron today on my brother in law's 26' Four Winns. We bobbed our way from the marina at Black River (Port Huron) against stream of the St.Clair river, under the Blue Water Bridge, and out to open lake where it was much smoother. The temps were almost as hot as Detroit in the mid-90s and the water was clear and refreshing. Got a little sunburnt but that will look good at work tomorrow. =)
Patterns of Ink:
You need to fish in the crook of the Thumb -- that's where the big cats are!
No cancer -- alll right! That's some good news! As for the other incident, I hate the term MILF -- there's something so depressing about it. I'm no prude, far from it in fact, but it still depresses me, as if women need sexual validation from our children's friends to feel attractive.
Jim, Great news!!! --Bro, Ron
I've been playing catch up on your blog for about an hour now, and I think that this story took the cake on humor. MILF... hahahaha. Isn't it strange how comfortable people can get with you in odd scenarios? You, getting a check up for cancer, her, single mom with idiot son and even more idiot friend looking for some sympathy and happy to be called a MILF by the little convict.
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