Sunday, July 22, 2007

MAY I TAKE YOUR ORDER?













I can only imagine that to the outsider looking in they probably think I'm making up all these prison stories. And although the common perception is that I have an interesting job when in fact it's quite monotonous and dull, I can assure you that I'm not hyping up anything. I will admit to this: At this very moment I'm bored, or as Iggy Pop would say, "Chairman of the Bored," but I'm not fabricating anything.

It's a late Sunday evening, and after scarfing a gyros sandwich at a Greek diner and having a slight indigestion problem, I'm reminiscing about an educational conference at the Carson City Correctional Facility. I can't for the life of me remember what the training was all about, or whether the free lunch was any better than the lamb I'd just eaten. All I remember is a simple question asked by Jolly Turner, a fellow correctional educator. He asked the waiter, "So, what brings you here?"

His question wouldn't be the least bit funny if I were sitting in that Greek diner four blocks from my house. However, it's always nice to know who is handling your grub. You see, our food had been prepared and served by a bunch of convicts enrolled in a food technology class.

As I sat there, anticipating the waiter's answer, he ignored the question and started pouring coffee into our cups. But Jolly wouldn't leave it alone, he asked again, "So, what brings you here?"

By now the waiter was prepared. He said, "I'd rather not divulge that information at this particular time."

Today's picture shows two inmates in a prison Food Technology Class. I'm not sure why the knife isn't cabled.

13 comments:

ShadowFalcon said...

Oh dear I think I'd be taking a pack lunch

Erik Donald France said...

Oh man, are they observed while they cook and serve?

After Fight Club, I hate to think about it too much.

On the other hand, I remember being dragooned into being a waiter at my old high school, and using a garden hose to serve water, and having to call caf coffee decaf. Hmmmmmm. I'm sure that was the least of the wait staff's sins . . .

B said...

when my patients offer me food I never take it- sometimes I feel bad- but I work in psych and ya never know- do ya?

geewits said...

You are VERY brave.

eric1313 said...

Good call about the knife. I had to look really close for it! I guess your senses are heightened by bbeing there every day.

It's a whole different world on that side of the wall.

And I've heard that special treatment of food(ala Fight Club) is (often) reserved for those inmates who were heinous to children or the helpless, or who run their mouths too much in there. I imagine that the truth is somewhat close to that.

And to answer the first statement in the post, I know better than to think you've made these stories up.

Danny Tagalog said...

That comment about your posts being edited and turned into a humorous text looking at prison life could well become a reality...

Michelle's Spell said...

Hey Jim,

Great post --- glad to find you. :)

the walking man said...

Jim from the very first time I read your blog, I knew that you were writing things that actually happened. Fiction could never be made this enthralling to people who have never seen this sort of job that you now consider boring.

Eric313 I talk to neighbor of mine who did 8 for armed assault about his time in prison and food is never the vengeance talked about when dealing with pedophiles or people who break promises and in other ways violate the pecking order of prison. Usually the form is a sort of violence that comes quickly, and covertly.

Anonymous said...

OK. Why isn't the knife cabled?
Nice post. MW :)

heiresschild said...

well, as an employee i'm sure i'd never eat or drink anything there, but the prisoners have no choice. i don't even want to imagine what might be done to the food....

ivan@creatrivewriting.ca said...

Never mind the food.

I am still staring at the avatar of Michelle's spell.

Ivan

heiresschild said...

ivan, i keep saying you are too funny. have you considered the t.v. program "last comic standing?"
now stop drooling.

thethinker said...

I would've been way too scared to eat the food. Does anybody watch them while they cook?