I THINK I UNDERSTAND

Where do you draw the line between sanity and insanity?

Our newest quarterly prisoner evaluation form has the following rating system:

4 – Excellent
3 – Satisfactory
2 – Needs Improvement
1 – Unsatisfactory

It has been brought to my attention that giving an inmate the last two rating numbers for attendance is highly frowned upon.

Therefore, I asked, "Why are those ratings there?"

I was told to use the last two ratings for intermittent discipline. In other words, use the same quarterly evaluation form during a non-quarterly evaluation time to warn or terminate the offender or offenders due to lack of attendance.

So I said, "Isn’t that more paperwork?"

I was told that it’s a deterrent, that thumping one or two inmates over the head this way will send a clear message to the others.

Therefore, I pointed out that I had been writing the necessary "036 Out of Place" tickets on the offenders and then evaluating them each quarter on their attendance.

"You’re not kicking them out?" I was asked.

"No," I answered.

"You should kick them out, and then do the evaluation form to terminate them from your class roster."

I thought about it for a moment, before agreeing with my boss.

Here’s what I’ll do: Give all my students "Excellent" or "Satisfactory" attendance ratings on their quarterly evaluations. A few days later, the offending parties will get "Unsatisfactory" ratings on non-quarterly evaluations once they’re found guilty on tickets I’ve written on them.

Does this make sense? All of my students will have "Excellent" or "Satisfactory" attendance, yet some will be thrown out for poor attendance.

Here’s why it will work: I’ve been told to backdate all my quarterly evaluations.