With two new teachers aboard and endless routine questions lobbed my way, I’ve come to the realization that I’m one of those seasoned correctional employees oozing negativity. Don’t misunderstand me, my intent is to assist my peers in every way imaginable, it’s just that I’ve been involved in so many scenarios that my advice, perhaps the delivery of it, becomes somewhat simple and somewhat dull.
“How do I kick an inmate out of class?” one teacher asks me. He has a stack of student files in his arms, a sure sign of those he’d like to ditch.
“Show them the door,” I answer.
He points to the post-it-note on the top file. “I was told to see you as far as what procedures I need to take.”
First, I explain what “I” would do. Then I give him the flowchart, step-by-step version of drop kicking someone from the school roster. This includes CSJ-126 “Waiver of Rights” forms, which a majority of prisoners refuse to sign anyway. This leads to more questions, and once again, I explain what “I” would do.
A day earlier, the school corrections officer making rounds asks me to step into the hallway so I can look into another classroom. “Remember when you were that eager to teach?” he remarks.
I notice motivational posters on the walls and classroom rules on the bulletin board. We both laugh. He knows I’m unfazed by his observation. In prison it’s not so much about teaching inmates; it’s about their desire to learn. I see myself as a facilitator, a referee, giving them options, and if they make the right choices, they’re rewarded with a useless high school equivalency diploma, which I’m sure those who were victimized could care less about anyway.
14 comments:
JR, this reeks of melancholy. When is your next vacation? Oh and speaking of that, I never asked why you are coming to Houston for Thanksgiving. So now I'm asking.
You must get the odd student who shines like a ray of light?
One of my friends is a psychologist at a large maximum-security prison. He says that some of his cases are brilliant men who just couldn't work within the boundaries set by a "normal" society.
Jim, I love the photo of you and Bailey the Super Dog! Your shirt says it all as well. Now be patient with your new peers and teach them well. They are full of energy and you wouldn't want them to lose their spunk! --Bro, Ron
Jim, by the time I blew my low back out I was fixing on average 2500 cars a year between my two jobs and hated even looking at the damn things but kept doing it because I was good at it and it put food on the table, Beam in the belly and gave me something to do all day and half the night.
When an oil change guy was hired in as a mechanic I saw more enthusiasm for a paycheck than talent and watched more shit get broke because if no one asked me how to do a repair the right way, fuck 'em, let 'em figure it out for themselves.
Little did I know that what I was watching was more work being piled on my plate fixing the "fixes" they signed off on. No one cared, not even me, because when my alloted time was done I was done.
Now after 7 years of this time warp called disability retirement, maybe I should have helped the rookies more because it may have given me enough rest to not blow the disc out in my back.
But I will admit watching them do 40 laps around a police car scratching their head wondering what to do about something that looked easy but was impossible if you didn't know the trick was pretty funny.
Peace
mark
Jim,
I know how things go. Burn out is a terrible thing. And teaching takes it out of you -- especially the kind you do.
I detect some cynicism and burn out - not surprising.
Love the picture of your dog.
Badly used by Seneca College out this way, I found myself teaching year-round.
Untenured.
Trimester.
They could do with me what they wanted.
I was having fights with my wife and becaming impatient with some of my Welfare students who were so dull as to copy down all my jokes.
i.e. "Seneca hired me because no one saw a drunk before."
By the time I reached tenure, I blew up and left the country, but in Mexico they were dying for professors of English and I had to go on the treadmill again.
I hadn't totally recovered from the Canada burnout amd here I was in the blue hills, nine thousand feet up in the air and crazier than a mink on sandbar.
Had to get a senorita, so as to ease the stress.
Madre de Dios!
Did she burn me out!
"Please Mr. Custer.
"I don't want to go."
I suffered a bad case of burnout when I was chair of the department years back. I've mostly recovered but there are still moments when I want to chuck it all.
I love the ending -- perfect!
Nice pic and post.
MW :)
Hey,JRT,
We cleaned out a storage room today and found a whole box of old pictures. Some time in the not so near future, I may try an "old photo" post like the ones you do so well.
This reminds me of a Nine Inch Nails song, "Every Day is Exactly the Same":
I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around
Oh, no
Everyday is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same
I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end
I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do
Just a song for thought.
Ah, well. You've still got your dog. :)
Why does the sound so much like what I do? Teaching in prison, teaching junior high -- so much alike. Scary.
Of course, some of my former students are now in prison (and others ought to be).....
When I hit burn out a couple of years ago, I took a year off, moved to Scotland, and got a master's degree. Unfortunately, now I'm starting to feel burn out again -- and it's only been 3years!
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