We had a programs staff meeting. They fed us pizza, chicken wings, salad, pop. Actually, our employee club purchased the food and we were allowed to eat it during their meeting. The agenda items were briefly kicked around while we ate. I use the terms “briefly” and “kicked around” because the discussion on hand, the dialogue, seemed so minimal, so unimportant. Perhaps it had something to do with all that chewing and digesting of food.
Later in the day, a coworker, a Danny Glover Look-A-Like, asked me, “Is it true that all male staff have to wear neckties starting October first?” I had heard the same thing; the announcement had caught me by surprise; No one contested it. I didn’t contest it. I was in-between bites. We asked around and discovered it wasn’t meant for us.
Before I left for home, I received an interesting email, something about “liquid proof coveralls.” It was sent by the ERT Commander (Emergency Response Team) and said: “I have placed 15 sets of liquid proof coveralls in the cell rush cabinet in Housing Unit 7. These are to be used in the event of a cell rush where bodily liquids or feces might be involved. They should be big enough to put on over the cell rush gear so that the gear does not become contaminated.”
I don’t think I’ll be joining ERT anytime soon. In fact, I’m more receptive to the idea of wearing that necktie.
13 comments:
OOMMPA!!!! :) --Bro, Ron
You know, I deal with a lot of toxic materials response for hazardous chemicals, JR, but I think I'm more frightened of the cell rush and the liquid proof pants than I am chlorine gas.
No neckties...unless it's a clip on.
Necktie versus liquid proof coveralls? I'll take the necktie myself.
We just had a meeting where they promised us lunch. They had 12 pizzas, only one of which had meat on it. All others were vegetarian. yum, I got one thin slice of pizza and went hungry the rest of the day.
JR-Anon. beat me to it but I will say it anyways. Oooooopah! I love saganaki. Don't be tempted to hang yourself with that tie.
LOL! my vote is for necktie too!
I love the picture of you, JR.
Cleanup after murders and accidents has become a booming money maker for some "environmental" companies (at least where I used to live). My company was pondering adding that as part of training. Thank goodness I moved. It was bad enough breathing hazmat fumes and working with the idiots who mishandled it all.
I can't imagine you in a necktie, so I'm glad that was rumor. Or hope it still is. But yeah...the necktie is better than liquid proof coveralls.
You said not much dialogue due to chewing and digesting of food. I would have guessed chewing and popping of gum. But at least the record now reflects that you had a staff meeting. Lansing will be satisfied. Tell Danny Glover and the rest I said hi.
*LOL* Yeah, I guess a tie's not so bad. ;)
Ogawd.
In Norman Mailer's The Executioner's Song, those about to be hanged wore suits like your liquid profof coveralls.
I wonder how often the liquid proof coveralls will be pulled out.
Wouldn't neckties be a huge liability for the wearer? Like you've done 90% of the work for an attacker.
That is so gross. I might have to ask my brother about these. I know he's had a few unfortunate encounters with various liquids.
I remember one particularly smelly encounter with an unknown liquid. I used to work for UPS as a sorter and occasionally we would recieve a box with something oozing out of it. Thankfully we had these wonderful people in white hazmat suits to take care of any strange ooze we encountered. We called these workers 'condoms' because that's exactly what they looked like. Well one day we had a particularly nasty leak from a 70lbs+ box and as we were being evacuated from our area a very slimy and foul smelling condom knocked me clean over. All the apologies in the world didn't change the fact that he had wiped about two gallons of fecal slime on me. From that day forward until the day I quit I was known as the girl that broke one of the condoms (the condom that ran me over was demoted because he endangered my safety). To this day I still have no idea what the stuff was. Even though I asked repeatedly they always replied that it was confidential. I have a few guesses though: cow cum, donkey piss, poop from a million geese after they feasted on radioactive slime. . .
So if someone tells me that I need liquid proof coveralls for a job I will most likely buy a few pairs.
If there is a freaking "cell rush"...
how the heck will you have time to find the liquid proof coveralls??
I definitely do not work in a prison where I teach math...
but the overalls might be helpful once or twice a year on lunch duty :-)
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