Once again I’m receiving complaints regarding Christmas music in my classroom and there’s no reason for it. I understand that being locked-up during the holidays can be downright depressing: no loved ones to gather around the Christmas tree with, no spiked eggnog to drink and no mistletoe for … (on second thought, because the prisoners are known to improvise, strike those last two). As I was saying, the radio station, I changed it, changed it last week to an easy listening format. Dick Purtan in the morning. Sure, he sandwiched “Jingle Bells” between Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely” and The Monkee’s “I’m a Believer,” but still, it’s better than Christmas music on the airwaves 24-7.
Prisoner H, a 20-something-year-old, is the biggest cry baby. “Turn that shit off! I hate Christmas.”
“There must be a few fond memories from your childhood that you can reflect on and smile,” I suggest.
“Not a one.”
I’m not so sure about his claim, but I know not to press certain issues; He may have burned every bridge, every connection to his family. I ignore him instead.
Within a half-hour “Frosty the Snowman” hits the rotation.
“Look,” he says, pounding his fist on the table, “if everybody in the room is warm, but one person says they’re cold, you gotta close the window.”
“That’s a bad analogy,” I reply. I’m hoping for Aaron Neville’s version of “The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire),” I think that’ll warm him up.
18 comments:
Torture through sentiment...maybe cheney could have learned from you Jim.
They stopped playing Christmas music at the store I work at because some customers complained. Instead of Merry Christmas, we have to say....Happy Holidays. I don't care one way or another since Christmas has become so out of control that it's lost it's meaning for me. But a lot of people enjoy Christmas and maybe it should be acknowledged by songs or just saying Merry Christmas.
Perhaps he'd enjoy Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - "...He knows if you've been bad or good..."
Cute photo.
In the Air Force we had a guy a little like inmate H. Kinda tragic, but he had a sense of humour.
Divorced by November, he too became depressed because of too many Christmas songs too early.
In the weeks just before
Dec. 25, he'd sing,
"Dad's nuts roasting on an open fire."
A variation on Chinese water torture?
Make sure he doesn't try roasting your chestnuts over a fire mate!...;-)
I laughed at your prisoners improvising sentences there. :-) I was reading a book about how prisoners make a drink called Hooch out of canned fruit. Crafty Macgyvers! Your guy sounds depressed. Christmas can do that to someone....
What a grumappotomus Inmate H is. I didn't know the Grinch was locked up. Maybe his bunkie is withholding some mistletoe action. Perhaps he could get a job working for the midgets. They and the secretary could make him and a select few a special lunch with provisions provided by the taxpayers. I'm thinking Philly Cheesesteaks and Chocolate Cheescake would do the trick. I'll bet he would have a holly jolly christmas then.
Well now, he soungs like a selfish sort. Not that I'm surprised given that he's in prison.
Using Prisoner H's logic if everyone in the room was incarcerated but one person was smart enough to stay a free man, you gotta leave the music on...
Hi Jim,
Sorry it's been a while since I've commented -- I'm always reading your stuff and loving it! Hope you're having a great week. Love this piece particularly -- great picture as well.
JR-my Dad would say, "some people would bitch if they were hung with a new rope."
' “Turn that shit off! I hate Christmas.”'
That is perfect. And the photo is excellent. Is that the Mackinac bridge in the background, or another?
Tell him that his freedom had a greater cost than he could have ever known.
Hope all is well.
Rather amusing message
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! Whatvr
Enjoyed the read. MW
I love it, especially the part about improvisation. I mean, it made me laugh. I've been known to create a bit of my own improvisation from time to time. It puts everybody in the spirit.
I hate to be a Grinch (well...no...really I don't,) but I'm with the prisoners on this one. I don't have fond Xmas memories & avoid the local stations that play nothing but Xmas music all month long. I mean, if they're going to subject me to that, they can at least balance it out with an entire month of Pink Floyd, as far as I'm concerned.
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