I’ve dealt with all kinds of misguided anger over the years (where students simmer, waiting for those inevitable triggers to boil over); I keep a lid on it.
“My last teacher,” a new student says, “was enthused about teaching.”
He’s sitting in the front row, eyes the size of saucer cups, tattooed forearms: fallen pillars, one on each side of a mathematics competency exam I placed in front of him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I ask.
“Are you passionate about teaching?”
Perhaps he’s crying for help.
“My last teacher at Muskegon,” he continues, “loves his job.”
“Good for him. What’s his name?”
“Selbig.”
“Selbig’s a woman.”
“Sir, you’re mistaken. Selbig’s a man.”
Now I know he’s a loon. After class I pull his school file (just in case he gave me the wrong name)—sure enough, his last teacher was Selbig. Ann Selbig. Female.
A week later, he’s still working on the same fifty-problem test; He’s on number ten. His brain’s stuck in the mud, spinning on perfectionism. His meaty guardrails protect his paper. I’ve already helped him on basic fractions and assigned him a fractions book; He refuses to do it. He thinks he’s mastered fractions.
“My last student,” I comment, “was enthused about learning. Are you enthused about learning?”
He’s rubbing the middle of his forehead with his knuckles, circling, circling, circling; his face looks like an overripe tomato. He’s left a bruise.
I end my sarcasm.
17 comments:
Weather the storm Jim, just weather the storm and don't let it affect your health.
Jim, That dude really is a loony toon! As per the walking man, keep your head high and continue your path to whatever it may lead!! --Bro, Ron
That is so funny that you flipped his question around!
He launched a preemptive strike but you turn the tables.
He needs psychiatric help. Is that available there?
Everyone...even loony prisoners have potential.
Maybe they can't ever go back into society, maybe they can....one day.
I feel sorry for him.
That's just me mate.
Actually I can't do math. Never could.
I love pulling the school file after kids or parents tell me some obvious BS of how great their previous math grades and glory were before "my class" What BS!!! Their file usually shows even worse grades before my class. Jerks!!! Running their mouths trying to claim it is all me and not them....
I think I am off topic now. Sorry - I do this.
JR, I love how you always put me in the situation with excellent details. I can see him (and even hear him) rubbing his head. I laugh at the sarcasm in the voice and how you flipped his question around. But then I'm left with a powerful punch in the gut when I stop and remember that it is real and an everyday occurrence for you. If I ran the world (haha...we'd be screwed), I'd drop mega bucks in your prison and your wallet.
JR, I agree he has potential. Tons of it. But maybe you need to try a different approach. Maybe you need to address some of his "soft skills". Make sure you annotate accordingly so the people in the ivory tower in Lansing will be satisfied. I am sure he has no problems that soft skill tweaking won't solve. I'm going to watch the Lions tomorrow with my son. Let me know if you see me on the tube with a cold "pop" in my hand. Good luck with knuckle head, literally.
Woody
WW,
Oh yes, how could I forget evaluating his soft-skills? Here's one: Don't rub your forehead so much, you'll bruise it. On a different note, why oh why are you going to see the Lions? I hope you don't mind all those drunk Lions fans. Enjoy your Sunday.
One would hope that he would not take your comment at face value, but realize that your words were meant to make him reevaluate where he is, where he's been and what he could possibly do.
Like the title. It works well with all manner of stewing situations.
I guess sarcasm and cynicism come with the territory - & translate well in your writing!
JR,
The Lions game was what I thought it would be. Four hundred dollars poorly spent. It was a fun day with my son though. I enjoyed watching the drunk people being removed for their poor behavior. If my four hundred was poorly spent, I wonder how they feel about their hard earned money? At least I got to see the whole game, such as it was. Have a good week, don't let the midgets get you.
It seems as though all of your teacher-student relationships need to be taken with pounds of salt (rather than grains.) I'm glad you were at least able to flip the script on this one.
He's obviously an overachiever.
Enjoyed the read. MW
JR- Geez you never really know with these dudes! WM is right, keep your health AND sanity..
He thought his last teacher was a man? How on earth can he do simple math, with power of observation like that! Very sad.
I used to defuse situations like that in the Sixties by a question like "Do you find me sexally attractive?" That would generally flabbergast the guy coming on to you.
But nowadays, and especially in prison you might hear a sigh like, "Oh yes."
Watch it. In shop class, he might saw off a length of pipe and give you a ring. :)
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