Friday, August 7, 2009

JUST A LITTLE SMOKE


















Smoke this over: Seven-block inmates/patients have taken to religion by ordering the best selling book of all time—the Bible. Regardless of whatever psychotropic medications they’re on (Parnate, Nardil, Marplan, Eskalith, Tragatol, or Depakote), regardless of how these mood-stabilizers work, one thing is for certain: their intentions are genuine. With the prison ban on tobacco products, including matches (shorted a few electrical outlets), they’ve been rolling yard grass and dry tea in ultra-thin Holy pages. May not be the normal thing to do, but when you’re cuckoo and have a nicotine habit you got to inhale something. Hallelujah! Amen! Praise the Lord!

Oasis' filter works just right,
easy-drawing ... and pure white!
And for a fresher smoke each light,
Oasis' box is flavor-tight!


I found the above advertisement in a 1957 University of Detroit football program. U. of D. vs. Xavier University (another institution of the Society of Jesus).

Nowadays us football fans here in Detroit can look forward to the Budweiser Bowl, or perhaps, when—(you know it’ll happen)—when the Detroit Lions get desperate the Ford family will recruit Michael Vick. There are certainly enough Chihuahuas for him to take in, to do a little public relations work with. How about a truck full of dogs barreling down the highway? Built Ford tough.

12 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

Vick's legs will start go soon, if they haven't already, and then where will Detroit be? Oh yeah, I guess they couldn't do any worse.

;) Sorry, but it's good for the hapless Saints fans to have someone to pick on.

Adisha said...

The ad seems interesting, though since I'm not into sports I guess couldn't figure out the rest of the post .. sorry :D

Hope you're doing well ...

ivan said...

Had no trouble reading the blog.

Funny you should write about the smoking ban. I just had a piece publised in the Newmarke ERA about
Zelaous, red-eyed hospital administrators who not only banned smoking at Southlake Hospital here--but anywhere near the hospital grounds.
Odd to see half-naked people with open smocks, dragging IV's and catheters all the way to the bank next door where smoking is still allowed outside.
I accused the half-million-dollar a year CEO of the hospital of being a money-grubber and a fool for this Draconian practice. Oh well. I've been sued before.
...Better not get sick!

Julie said...

I had no idea there was a smoking ban in your prison. That is wild. Were there riots or fights? A smoking ban went into effect where I lived a few years ago, and it was creepy. The bosses were forced by law to post narc signs. We were supposed to call an 800 number and "report" our co-workers or bosses who were smoking in front of the doorway.
It's a whole different thing with prisoners, I guess. They're "wards" of the state.

jodi said...

JR-You certainly have seen it all in your line of work. Your cynicism cracks me up. Does it help?

the walking man said...

WWJD? Why he'd turn the yard grass to tobacco for his brothers in chains.

Why would the Lions want Vick's baggage? Although there are, true enough, a new ready supply of Chihuahua's for him to organize into sanctioned dog fights.

Whitenoise said...

I'm not sure how many non-smoking prisoners you might have, but surely the non-smoking staff has the right to not be poisoned. Personally, I hate walking through the blue cloud on my way into a building, then smelling someone else's stink on my clothing. I try to fart more to get even, but so far nobody's complained...

JR's Thumbprints said...

WWJD? He'd want us to forgive Michael Vick for his past sins. (Maybe I'm biased or tired of seeing the Lions lose.) I'm not so sure he'd change lawn grass to tobacco leaves though, not when the convicts are ripping pages out of the Bible and using them as rolling paper.

Anonymous said...

They are also smoking tea, and many like it better than tobacco.
Might start a new fad. Enjoyed the read. MW

Erik Donald France said...

Wicked. man, wicked. A real Lion's Den of pithiness . . . And beyond that, nice color scheme on the image, an oasis of sorts for addicts . . .

Anonymous said...

FORD - Fix Or Repair Daily!!!! --Bro

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