Thursday, November 6, 2008

SMALL TALK INSIDE THE PEN














(Mutual greeting between two prisoners)
— What up Dog?
— What up?

(In Unison)
— What up Teach?

(A white female corrections officer walks by the classroom window.)
— Checkout that flat screen.
— Ooooh yeah, I’d like to book that. Get up close and personal.
(Laughing) You ain’t got no HD. You analog.
(Agitated) Quit false flaggin’ you pump-fakin’ mutha.
(Speaking to the empty corridor) I’m high def, Baby. Check-out my digital.

(A few minutes later a black female employee walks by.)
— Ooooh wee, she got two midgets on her back.
(More Laughter) You couldn’t handle a round ticket.
(More Agitated) Man, I’ll roll any dice table come my way. Black or white.
— No you won’t.
(Puffs out chest) Yes I would.
(Puffs out his chest too) Quit stuntin’ on me.
(Clenches his fists) I got a two piece combo for yah.
(Waves him off) Okay Little Caesar. Okay Little Man.
— I got five for five.
— Don’t make me put a tilt in your halo.

(They stand up, ready to lock horns. Their teacher approaches.)
— Do your schoolwork.
— I don’t want no smoke.
— Yeah, me neither.

(They sit back down.)
— You see Obama’s oldest daughter on TV the other night?
— Don’t even go there, my niece her age.
— She gonna live in the White House.
(They high-five one another.)
— Got that right.


9 comments:

Charles Gramlich said...

What language is this in?

Anonymous said...

Looks like a Muski, or Pike fingerling. Google them. Enjoyed the read. Sounds like Mark Twain urban Detroit street style. MW

JR's Thumbprints said...

Charles, I'd like to call it the language of the absurd. It's about two immature men who can't stop thinking about one thing long enough to advance themselves. Even on the world stage, with our President-elect, the conversation goes back to that "one thing."

MW, Yes, it has that urban-penitiary feel to it. Some inmates live in a rap-video, or tv land world. No outward reality here; only inner dialogue gushing from their mouths.

ivan@creativewriting.ca said...

Good sketch.

Good, realistic diealogue.

Anonymous said...

Clabberation:
A stakeholder group that goes sour.

Clobberation:
People who work together to beat up on one or more parties.

Con-sensus:
Agreement reached on the basis of deliberately provided false information.

Dialogue:
What facilitators keep interrupting in order to stick to the agenda.

Diealogue: Conversations that go flat.

Facility-ator:
Third party who spends all their time arranging room locations, meeting times, seating, etc.

Third party: Why many people don't show up on the fourth morning of a conference.

Jo said...

Well, I have more trouble understanding Shakespeare, unfortunately. :-)

"Thyself and thy belongings
Are not thine own so proper as to waste
Thyself upon thy virtues, they on thee.
Heaven doth with us as we with torches do,
Not light them for themselves; for if our virtues
Did not go forth of us, ’t were all"

Bobby said...

I saw a great piece in Harpers, in the Readings section - it was about prison lingo. I was laughing my weeble-wobbles off. [Not actual slang, I made that up.]

Whitenoise said...

How long before that lingo becomes mainstream? ;-)

Lana Gramlich said...

Remember when people spoke English? Me neither, unfortunately...
The photo reminds me of fishing one day with friends. One guy got something that bent down his ugly stick...his drag went like gangbusters...The rest of us gathered around to watch the fight & it's results. We realize the drag was set WAYYYY too loose when he finally came up with a perch about 3" long. I don't know if he'll ever live that one down.