COWBOY ETHICS

Before I went on vacation with a viral infection brewing in my body, a young African-American man in my morning classes along with his posse (for lack of a better word) discussed how they would rob a party store. Although somewhat rushed and loud—How else do you get a word in?—their talk seemed natural and unforced, as if they were planning what to pack for lunch that day.

But they weren’t arguing over making sandwiches or picking soda.

“Pop-pop-pop!” this youngster said. The others laughed hysterically.

I wasn’t amused. A week earlier he had told me how he robbed a Walgreen’s on the south side of Chicago and got away with it.

I reminded the group to quiet down, and as usual, the discussion grew to an excitable level. I threatened a seating chart, knowing damn well they would just shout across the room to one another. I also mentioned bad evaluations and tickets.

“So what,” one of them said, singling himself out, “what you gonna do, have us locked up? We’re already in prison.”

Running out of options, I made myself a mental note to get rid of the ringleader after my vacation … but not before administering him the TABE (Test of Adult Basic Education). You never know, his grade level equivalency may have improved meaning more federal dollars toward our educational program. No inmate left behind. At least on paper.