There’s this student of mine, an older convict, he sits in the back of the classroom, keeps to himself; he’s cheated death more than once. He survived a shotgun blast to his abdomen. He lifts his shirt, explains, “Shoot out with the police.” He used to drag race as well—illegally, on the streets of Detroit. His car careened out of control. “I lost my right-eye, broke my neck, C7 vertebrae, I had reconstructive surgery to my skull.” He smiles, a crooked, busted-jaw smile. “I was in a coma for two months.” He talks as if he’s proud of it all, as if he knows he’s blessed for beating such odds.
I’m not impressed. Should I be? He’s lucky to be alive … even if he is in prison.
***
There’s this family of four—husband, wife, son, and daughter—the nicest family you’ll ever meet. We consider them our friends; we’ve known them for seventeen years. Last Saturday they were preparing for their uncle’s funeral when the 24-year-old son complained of a headache. He stayed home while his Mom, Dad, and Sister went to pay their respects. He died that day. Peacefully. In his sleep. No guns blazing. No drag racing. Was it a hemorrhage? Was it bacterial meningitis? Who knows? There’ll be an autopsy.
We’re stunned. Everybody who knew him is stunned. Life, at this moment, doesn’t seem fair, doesn’t seem kind. Friday’s the wake. I’ll take the day off from work, pay my respect, fight my emotions … it won’t be easy … I’ll be wearing sunglasses.
14 comments:
There is no explanation that adequately comforts the family and friends of this young man Jim. From your description I think it safe to say life has been cheated by his passing.
Be well and strong brother.
The paradox about Life and Death are , that they are such sure, yet such uncertain terms. Indeed, one can never tell who is more lucky; the one who stays alive through so much pain and continues to suffer, or the one who has died peacefully and almost painlessly.
Condolences for your family friends!
Time and time again we’re reminded life is not fair. And so why does this continue to surprise us (and hit us so hard) each time we’re presented with the evidence?
Such a tragic loss for that family – and their friends. Words never seem adequate at such times. Just being there for them has to suffice.
Yes, life is unfair. And, if you look too hard for meaning or reason, it will drive you mad.
Best wishes for your friends.
Who ever knows the moment we will die, how long we will live in these imperfect bodies. A sad day, Jim, for you and your family. I wish you quiet comfort on Friday.
Sorry to hear of your friend familiy's loss. Most difficult when adults outlive their children. MW. :)
I am so so sorry my friend.
Life: you go out...and you gather experience...and you get perspective (and you, sir, have as good a perspective as anybody, better than most really)...and then your perspective just gets...disassembled.
When my family went through all of 'the stuff,' each one of us had to take turns being the strong one. Your turn will come - to help and make decisions and hold this person that person and drive here or there or just be the strong one...and then it'll be somebody else's turn to be the tough one, and you can go to pieces.
Where is the effen justice? The irony of it all makes it even more tragic, is that is at all possible.I am so sorry for your loss, Jim.
Man, that sucks -- sorry to hear that. "God works in mysterious ways," so we've most of us heard at such times. Still sucks.
Heart felt sadness here; sending our condolences and prayers your way.
Go the way of Zorba the Greek.
The unnamed narrator is a scholarly, introspective writer who opens a coal mine on the fertile island of Crete. He is gradually drawn out of his ascetic shell by an elderly employee named Zorba, an ebullient man who revels in the social pleasures of eating, drinking, and dancing...
But there is a blot to the story, as there is a blot, I suppose, where you work.
Greek dancers would soon lose their laeticia....or maybe more in that place. Their ass.
No place for Zorba-- maybe gaylord..
Anyway, do the dance of life.
I'm sorry hon. So often we humans like to look for "reason" in such things, but in reality, there is none.
We lost our 28 year old nephew in almost identical circumstances so we understand and sympathise with all that you and your friends are going through.
We wish you peace and, ultimately, acceptance.
Heavy sigh. I didn't see this one at first. I'm so sorry. Your points are right on. It's all such a wheel of fate, isn't it? And it's not fair. At all. I'm very sorry.
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