I’d like to buy a vowel … or two … or three. A few consonants wouldn’t hurt either. And for the price …“There is a charge, a very large charge,” Sylvia Plath …
...I should get a little extra something-something. How about a few numbers as well? Does anyone have Vanna Whites’ phone number, how I can get in touch with her? Not that I’m a stalker or anything. I haven’t oogled … spell check: googled … her—it’s just that I’m laying out my graphic design final, a slick Hawaiian Clothing Catalog and I can’t get the correct font on my computer. I need Caflish Script Pro. It’s priced at thirty-five smackaroos. If I’m going to unload that kind of cheddar I better damn well be entertained. Seriously, put me in the peanut crunching crowd, show me what you got. If it’s good, I mean really really good, I’ll come back for more. Closer, get a little closer, let me whisper in your ear: If I’m not satisfied with the purchase, can I get a refund?
11 comments:
Hard to say at this moment. I too am composing something on my blog.
From poetry to punk
Well done using that Sylvia Plath poem!
(Always consider the price...)
Dear Mr. Tomlinson...we are so certain of your satisfaction with our product that we offer no refunds...
So don't delay act now supplies are running out
Allow if you're still alive six to eight years to arrive
And if you follow there may be a tomorrow
But if the offer is shunned you might as well be walking on the sun
I'm afraid your money's no good here, Mr. Tomlinson. We don't accept Monopoly money that is. Nor coins with President Obama's image on them. At least not yet.
Returns...in the 21st century? I'm sorry, sir, but you MUST be MAD. It's been "store credit" only (or a swindle-ful store debit card,) for years now. Refund...Meh!
Hee hee! I love it. Lively writing like yours keeps me interested. I love the Plath.
Vanna is gorgeous, isn't she? If you've got to oogle somebody, it may as well be her. Us women just get Pat Sajack to look at. What a rip.
Thanks for another great post:)
J.R. No guarantees, keep your reciept and the original packaging. Good luck you crazywriterteachertechiegeek dude.
Beginning with Sylvia Plath, and that quote, I’d like to buy a vowel … or two … or three. A few consonants wouldn’t hurt either. And for the price …“There is a charge, a very large charge, start to understand what she is talking about.
Like writing too fine can kill you?
Art exacts a terrible price.
Writing tight, like her. Gerald Kersh, a contemporary, male version Sylvia Plath, whose works are now largely lost, goes,
"Life lays down strange paths for men (women?) to tread upon in the dark."
The tyranny of style-- Give me a vowel, two or three. A few consonants wouldn't hurt either. Tight unisyllabic writing. Poetry.
My ex-wife used to say, "Get your head out of the oven, Ivan."
I see nothing but conflicted interests. Who owns "caflish" and why must you have to use it? Smells of small time teacher corruption. Much like the big time corruption that is happening on a daily basis. JP Morgan=Chase bank won't reorganize Chrysler debt would rather put 300,000 workers out of a job. They own Michigan unemployment debit card which needs to be used to collect unemployment benefits. They of course will charge fees when the card is used. Time for revolution.
Enjoyed the read. Throw the bums out. MW
You will be required to stand in the refund-return line for hours on end with no promises made and do you have a receipt and have you damaged the goods and did you wait more than 30 days? Not happy? Such is life. D
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