THE JOB ALTERNATIVE

REVEALING TOO MUCH

There are people out there, journalists, politicians, and other taxpayers, who think my salary is too high. They believe my wages are a contributing problem to Michigan's budget deficit and lagging economy. In fact, the Lansing State Journal went as far as to publicize my wages through a database.

I'm not taking issue with the F.O.I.A. (Freedom of Information Act); I'm all for people having access to the salary range of a Teacher PII (Civil Service Classification) or other state employee job titles for that matter. What I disagree with is being able to type in an individual's name to find out their exact salary. Interestingly enough, I now know that I make more money then my boss.

As for my current situation, I have very little negotiating power. If I were to send my resume to a prospective employer, the personnel director would search the Michigan Department of Education website for a valid teaching certificate, and in the process, discover my age, and with a few more clicks of the mouse, see my earnings. They may view me as too old and overpaid. My chances of getting an interview may diminish. Then again, maybe they would find my blog appealing--that is, if they can find it.

FORWARD DIVE, PIKE POSITION

"I’m not a very nostalgic person. I don’t really look at the past and, you know, summon up regrets or self-congratulations. It just is not a mechanism that operates very strongly in me."
—Leonard Cohen

"If I could only live by Cohen’s words, I might be happier, I might be more productive, I might continue forward with a few more stories and far less regrets. Then again, maybe I’ll continue fishing all summer long. Maybe that’s what I need. Maybe then I’ll discover what makes me tick."
—JR's Thumbprints

Recommended TV Show: On The Lot

MONKEY BUSINESS

Thanks for your submission, JR. It was a compelling and often hilarious read, but alas, not quite right for Monkeybicycle. Best of luck placing it elsewhere. And please keep us in mind if you have any other stories that need a home.

Eric, Web editor Monkeybicycle

TED NUGENT VISITS MY HOUSE

MY REPLY TO THIEVES JARGON

Dear Mr. Matt DiGangi, Ed.,

Thank you for your timely response on my short story. Your encouragement is greatly appreciated.

I'm still going through the archives at Thieves Jargon, reading a few stories as time permits. I'll definitely be back, reading and submitting.

I wish you continued success, JR.

REJECTION WORTH SHARING

Hi JR,

It seems like people who teach prisoners make for good writers. I like your story a good amount. Our submissions are a little full right now, and it doesn't look like we're going to be able to get this one into a future issue, but it's a good deal better than a lot of stuff that I see. You have an interesting way of unwinding the plot, and a good weird overall style. I hope you're able to find another home for this piece, and I also hope you'll think of hitting us up again in the future.

Best, Matt DiGangi
--Ed., Thieves Jargon

SUMMERTIME

GET A HAIRCUT, GET A REAL JOB

CATFISH AND SUNSETS